WTF Is This Crap??? (Modern Pop)

You may have noticed that this is a heavy metal themed blog, so you may be wondering why I would concern myself with modern pop music. Well, its simple. Its because at my job, the GM thinks that modern pop music entices people to buy cars, so he blasts it throughout the entire dealership. There is no escaping it. And, since I am there 50-60 hours a week, these songs get stuck in my head. Various songs are the last thing I hear in my head when I fall asleep, and the first thing that pops in when I wake up in the morning. Its TORTURE! If they played this crap at Gitmo instead of Skinny Puppy, the terrorists would start singing like canaries, and we'd be able to exterminate all of them in a matter of days. But, this post isn't just me talking about how it modern pop sucks. I'll explain WHY as well.

Yes, I've (against my will) become an expert on the subject. But before we get into it modern pop, I want to go 25-30 years into the past. Why? Just be patient. It will all be clear in a few minutes.

Madonna and Maiden Mentioned
in the same PARAGRAPH???

I've gone on the record about how the majority of metal that has come out in the past 15 years can't hold a candle to the greats of the 80's such as Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and even bands like Skid Row and Stryper. Its the truth, and the same holds true for pop. The hits of 80's pop stars like like Michael Jackson, and Madonna are still very much relevant today. Think a bit. You can more than likely name 5 songs from Jackson and Madonna. You may not have liked them, but you do remember the songs because they have substance, and were well written by someone who actually cared what they were going to release. Even the one hit wonders of the 80's are still very much relevant. Tainted Love? Whip It? I could name 20 more in 25 seconds if I tried. Do you really think that any of today's garbage pop music will still be relevant 30 years from now? Hell...Even 10 years from now? Didn't think so..Except on a satellite radio channel that 100 people worldwide listen to. I think that the only people who listen to today's garbage are the people subjected to it in their jobs and when they go to stores.

This is why modern pop acts don't use

real drummers.

The reason for this is because you have a group of 10 producers writing the majority of the songs out there. Therefore, they all sound the same. You can't even differentiate who is who. Its all just the same monotonous beat throughout the entire song with no change up at all. Its just 'bump-clap-bump-clap-bump-clap-bump-clap' through the whole damn thing. And sometimes, there's not even a bass beat. I've heard several that are just hand claps all the way through. No change up in the music either. Pop has become almost as bad as rap when it comes to music. Its the same one progression lick over and over again.

Tell me what to like, Mr Record Producer!

There is an explanation for why these producers have taken over the "mainstream" music and made it the modern day equivalent to cookie cutter boy bands. Recycling. It won't matter 5 years from now if nobody remembers today's crap because it will be used all over again with a fresh new face that sounds exactly like the previous singer, yet packaged as the next big thing. And, its evident in the young adults today. Ask any of them what kind of music they like, and they will all tell you "Oh pretty much everything." But you ask them if they like anything old good, and they are clueless. They can tell you the songs and "artists" who are popular currently in pop, rap, R&B, and even country because it all gets played on the same radio stations together. Its ridiculous.

Radio DJs don't even try to hide the fact that its unoriginal garbage anymore. One day, a particular song came on, and the DJ was giddy with excitement, saying "[Lame Singer A] had a chance to sing this song, but she passed on it, so that was lucky for [Lame Singer B] who got a hit out of it.

I am not telling you all this because I'm biased as a metalhead. There are good pop, country, etc artists who still write their own music, and REAL songs. They just aren't what the record labels want. Those people are on YouTube, and playing in your local clubs. Seek them out, and support them. If everyone does that, and stops buying into this garbage polluting the airwaves now, then maybe there will be some good music on the airwaves once again. Until then, keep your chin up and the volume up to 11. In the 80's, 'Video Killed the Radio Star.' Maybe now, we can throw out the cookie cutter and get back to real music.

Tesla: Simplicity

All the 80's Glam and Hair Bands are reforming, and releasing brand new albums. Festival tours are popping up all over the place, and 80's rock and metal is returning from the dead. Yet another one of the legendary 80's bands, Tesla has stormed back onto the scene with their latest, Simplicity. And, in honor of the theme of this album, this will be a simple review. The first track, MP3 is the anthem leading the charge about technology, stating that its taken us from the phonograph record to the MP3.

'Simply' speaking, Simplicity seems like Tesla never took any time off. It falls into succession alongside Mechanical Resonance, The Great Radio Controversy, and Psychotic Supper. Heavy, guitar driven blues and good ol' Rock N Roll. Singer, Jeff Keith sounds like he hasn't aged a week since Psychotic Supper, and Frank Hannon is back with a vengeance on the guitar and the piano. His solos never sounded so good. Drummer, Troy Luccketta and bassist Brian Wheat are solid as ever, and Wheat also rocks out on the Piano duties. Joining them is guitarist, Dave Rude.

Songs on the album are easily the next step in progression from previous albums. For example, the song Cross My Heart is a good soul filled blues jam with piano, and mean guitar, reminiscent of What You Give. Honestly is a nice ballad with great vocal harmonies, that a tribute to those who put others ahead of themselves, and are just a <heard this word before?> 'Simple' man, doing his best in this jungle of a world. Flip Side is another great acoustic jam that slams into a heavy Blues alleyway. My favorite song on Simplicity is Time Bomb. Its heavy, bluesy, raunchy, with a metalized speed demon solo. Its mostly in the vein of Heaven's Trail. 

Tesla successfully kept this album simple, which is something they never had a problem doing. Tesla always had a way of keeping it simple, and not really changing lanes from the music that got them to the top in the first place. 'Simply' put, if you loved Tesla's previous albums, you will love this one too. Buy it!

Frank Hannon, Brian Wheat, Jeff Keith, Dave Rude, Troy Luccketta

I said it would be a simple review, didn't I?

2013: Beginning of a Heavy Metal Renaissance?

Metal, and I mean REAL good ol' heavy metal that dominated the 80's has been dead since the end of the 80's. It seems to have gone by the wayside, with the bands breaking up, and the ones that don't break up decided to change with the times and neuter their music. It was a shame. Metal fans from all over the globe wondered what the hell happened to their music and bands, and were demanding real bands back. But, the record companies had decided that metal was dead, and flannel was the new leather. Crappy 3 chord progressions with bad mixdowns, and a monotone whiners calling themselves singers replaced the incredible virtuoso guitarists, excellent vocals by guys who actually sang, and the recordings were produced by professionals.

But, hope was not lost. In 2008,  a group of visionaries came forth, and put together a band that would make people realize just how much of a good thing was gone. They were not afraid to once again don the leather, makeup, and mega talented song writing abilities. Steel Panther took the stage, and asked the important question:

Where is Def Leppard? Where is Mötley Crüe?Why do all my lyrics sound like Dr. Seuss?

Also, leading the battle cry against all things modern corporate music machine with a powerful incantation, they pierced the stratosphere, screaming 'DEATH TO ALL BUT METAL!!!!!'

At first, the band was labeled as a gimmick that wouldn't last long. But, as the crowds and venues they played got larger, combined with exposed boobies and cigarette lighters returning to concerts, people began realizing that REAL metal had been underground for far too long...And that it was time bring it back! Heavy Metal faithful rejoice!

Critics weren't the only people to recognize the truth. Slowly but surely, the metal bands of the 1980's began reforming and writing new 'return to form' types of albums. A handful of musicians grouped up to form supergroups. And it was a breath of fresh air to every metal fan who grew up in Metal's Golden Age. But, new fans were getting in on it too. Look at the ages of people on these bands Facebook pages...I've seen many teenagers on pages for bands like Queensryche or even Fates Warning saying that they were new fans, and they love that type of music. Its very refreshing. You can also see it at these bands concerts. Especially Steel Panther. Its not just 40+ year old women flashing their boobies. ;)

reforming and writing new 'return to form' types of albums. A handful of musicians grouped up to form supergroups. And it was a breath of fresh air to every metal fan who grew up in

In 2013, twenty four classic metal bands/ artists released new studio albums. Most of them were 'return to form' type albums, and they all have one thing in common...They are SELLING. I'm going to list my top 10 in no particular order here:

If you look up 'return to form album' in the dictionary, you will see this album. After many years of disappointing albums, Queensryche, along with Todd LaTorre on vocals released their self titled effort, which easily fits in the category of Queensryche's great albums along with Operation: Mindcrime, Rage for Order, and Promised Land. Its first month outsold BOTH of their previous albums in their first months combined.

Another 'Return to form' album, Stryper proudly releases 'No More Hell to Pay' which fits in between their greatest albums, Soldiers Under Command and To Hell With The Devil. Michael Sweet still has the range he did in the 80's. If anything, his voice is even more powerful.

In keeping with the 'return to form' model here, Skid Row released the album that should have come after Slave to the Grind, United World Rebellion: Part One. Seems like everyone still has 'GOT' it!

Fates Warning, after a long hiatus got back together, and released Darkness in a Different Light, and it

seemed like they never even went away in the first place.

Alice in Chains, is back with a new singer. They released The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here, one of their best albums to date. I am not aware of any Alice in Chains albums that weren't good, so there's no surprise here. I know they came after the 80's, but they were really the only band that was worth a damn in the grunge era. That's because they weren't a grunge band. They were a metal band that happened to come from Seattle.

Megadeth and Super Collider. Need I say more? Dave Mustaine and Megadeth are one of the only 80's bands that never went through an 'album selling' phase by wearing makeup and making stripped down music to try to fit in with what was popular in the 90's. Their sound did change, but not in an effort to fit in. It was to do something a little different for a change. Say what you want about Megadeth. At least they never released an album with no guitar solos.

Another 'return to form' album, Black Sabbath returned to their deep, creepy, doom and gloom, apocalyptic sound that put them on the map in the first place with 13.  It was strange hearing 'Is God Dead?' being played on the radio right after some crappy band named after a position in football.

Motorhead and Aftershock. Nothing else necessary to say other than 'LEMMY!'

Got it? Good.

Pamela Moore's album, Resurrect Me is iconic. It is her first heavy metal album, and it is just as much of a heavy hitter as any of these others. In fact, most of the songs on this album make just about anything on rock radio stations these days seem like bubblegum...or maybe they are bubblegum? Who cares? This album kicks ass!

What a good way to round out the list than with Dream Theater. They have yet another self titled effort, and its my favorite since their first two albums, Images and Words, and Awake. 

Honorable mention to The Winery Dogs for their self titled release. Consisting of Billy Sheehan, Ritchie Kotzen, and Mike Portnoy, they have released one of the best 'supergroup' albums ever done.

Check out the other 14 classics who have all released great albums this year:

Jason Newsted's 'Newsted' and 'Heavy Metal Music'
Helloween: Straight out of Hell
Saxon: Sacrifice
Krokus: Dirty Dynamite
Anthrax: Anthems
Warlord: the Holy Empire
Suicidal Tendencies: 13
Deep Purple: Now What?
Vicious Rumors: Electric Punishment
Kingdom come: Outlier
UDO: Steelhammer
Anvil: Hope in Hell
GWAR: Battle Maximus

I'm sure I missed a few. There were also several bands like Judas Priest and Manowar who released live albums.

Honestly, can you think of a better year for metal albums than 2013 in the past 20 years or so? I can't. And, I'm hoping that 2014 will be even better with more 'return to form' albums, and overall great albums. These releases are better than any of the current 'modern' metal bands on their BEST days. There are several exceptions. Bands like Avenged Sevenfold, Disturbed, etc are great bands, but we aren't talking about modern bands now, are we?

So, go out and buy these albums! Support the bands when they come in concert, bug the crap out of your local rock radio stations, and maybe...Just maybe Heavy Metal will return to its glory years in a spandex and leather Metal Renaissance!