The Customer is a Jerk and a Liar. Lets Reward Them!!

I recognize the face that customers are the life's blood of a company, but thanks to moochers and takers that have become prevalent in our society today, the term "The customer is always right" has been taken way out of hand. Quite frankly, it has been abused to the point that it needs emergency reconstructive surgery.

What am I talking about? Well, go into any chain retail store. They will let you walk all over them, and get whatever you want. All you have to do is say the dreaded magic threat: "I'm gonna call corporate!"

I used to work in the rent to own field. You will never see a more pathetic display of humanity than a large percentage of customers in that field. Some of them would be more than happy to shoot you over a 27 inch TV rather than turn it back in because they can't make the payment. I know this because I was shot at over a 27 inch TV. Others will rent things, and not make the payment, and disappear for 6 weeks, then finally get in touch with the store, and apologize. The merchandise is then picked up, and a week later, they come back and re rent the same item, and the process starts again. They do pay into principal, and eventually, they will pay it off...several years later. But, in that field, there are no customers who are blacklisted. They can walk all over the employees, threaten, and belittle the employees all they want, but corporate will not let a store ban a customer. The person I mentioned who shot at me? After the TV was recovered with a police escort, we were delivering the same TV back to them a week later.

As a rent to own employee, I dreaded the "preferred customer" mailers. They were mailed out to every person in the store's database, yet for some reason, only the worst of the worst came in with them. And, they would always come in with an attitude. "I'm a PREFERRED customer, so I deserve this or that!" And, that is the problem. These pathetic people are rewarded for their poor (and sometimes criminal) behavior, and of course they will keep coming back.

Think that guy learned his lesson?

True story: One customer had a rather nice dinette set, and had been paying on it for several years. As far as the company was concerned, they had gotten all the money they needed out of it, so if the customer decided to steal it, they could charge it off, and no one would lose any sleep over it. In fact, the customer only had maybe 3 more payments on it until they owned it. But, they would disappear like I mentioned before, and the set would have to be picked up, then redelivered. In a year, I picked up and redelivered that set 6 times. So, I got tired of it, and the last time I picked it up, I asked the manager how much value the set had to the store. He checked, and that was when we found out that it was paid for as far as the company was concerned, but the customer had a few payments left to go. I offered the manager the total of the 3 payments for the set, and he sold it to me. This was in 2006, and I still have it to this day. I bought it to be a desk. In fact, I am typing this post on it right now. The customer had to start all over with a different piece. I bet he never missed a payment again!

But this type of behavior getting rewarded by businesses is not limited to retail, or rent to own. There is a pizza chain that has a policy that states "If the customer complains, give them what they want, and something extra." As a result, they are delivering food to low lives who will order a pizza, call up, complain, and get another pizza and wings delivered for free that same day. And, these people never tip the drivers either. The chain thinks it is good customer service, but all it is doing is sending the free food beacon to low lives who find out about it, and tell their friends. Before too long, they are delivering free food to an entire neighborhood on a regular basis.

These people are the lowest scum on the planet. They are the people who do not work, yet eat better than I do because the government has no cap or term limit to the free (taxpayer) money they shovel out to them. And, it gets worse as the time goes by. Today, its a pizza. Next thing you know, they are stealing from stores, and threatening the store's employees for trying to stop them. And, corporate will actually reprimand the employees for trying to prevent theft. Trading customer service for emboldened thieves. Also, these people would gladly cost a hard working employee their job in order to get something that costs 5 bucks for free! Don't you see a problem with that?

The problem is not going to get better. In fact, its going to get worse. I could not work in a retail store. I would likely wind up getting fired for beating the crap out of someone who threatened me. And, they will come over the counter and threaten violence if they don't get their way!

Basically, the customer is NOT always right, and if a company wants good employees, they need to start standing up for THEM, and not the leeches who would just as soon stab someone over a pair of shoes or shoot at someone over a 27 inch TV.

 If I had a business of my own, I would have a blacklist. And, all it would take would be banning just a couple people, and the word would be out that my business is not one that can be walked all over. As a result, my cost goes down because I wouldn't be paying for these jerks to rob me, AND the good employees would find their way to my store.

And, you'd better believe that sign to the left here would be hanging in my store's front window!

Its just common sense. Although, fewer and fewer people seem to be born with it these days.

I know how large corporations can pay more.

That's right. I know a guaranteed way that corporations can pay their middle class employees more money...and it won't even raise their payroll. Want to know the secret? I'd tell you but I have to refer you to the 'Department of Unsolicited Messages Bid And Solid Solutions' (DUMBASS) and they will have to approve me telling you, then send your request to the 'Message Office Replies Of Necessity' (MORON) and once they deem it a necessary, they send it to the 'Department Of Linking Transfer' (DOLT) who then forwards it back to me. So, once I get permission from the required channels, and the permission forms are all documented and verified by my boss, his boss, and his boss's boss, you can expect to hear my secret in about 3 months.

Well, in true corporate fashion, I will tell you in a bit. First, I'm going to tell you a few stories of experiences I've had recently and in the past. By the time I'm done, I probably won't even have to tell you my idea, but I will anyway.

A few years back, I was a property manager for a company that 'offered storage to the public.' I had never seen so many layers of unnecessary brass before in my life. They had people who's job it was to travel around the country and appraise the safety awareness of everyone working there. Sounds good, right? All this person (who made triple what I was making, plus got paid to see the country) did was show up, go through your 'safety manual' (which was nothing but monthly printouts of common sense safety crap that any 5 year old would know...and they never changed year to year. They were always the same with a different little smiley face or something like that so they knew you printed it) to make sure it was up to date, then they would ask you what the monthly safety topic was...it was on the monthly printout that never changed, and to conclude their visit, they would ask you to demonstrate the proper way to open a roll up door. They were there literally 5 minutes tops, and they never found anything bad or out of order. I called another store in a different part of the company with a different safety manager and was told that they did the exact same thing there. How can I apply for that job? And, why did the DM come around and do those things when there was a department specifically for that?

At least twice a year, there would be an email from corporate HQ, saying to welcome the new employees of the new 'Department Of Nothing Other Than Handling Insignificant Numeric Goods' (DONOTHING) and how glad they were to have them on board. Then, a week later, another email from HQ talking about how the bonuses had been "restructured." (cut to pay for DONOTHING)

My wife has worked for the same company for 7 years. She has transferred the job to 3 different cities, and has been asked to go to other stores that needed help. The company's payroll department after getting W4s from her when we moved to a different state was always backwards because of a chain of people that had to handle that information. When she went to help another store, she was paid gas mileage. The check they cut for that had to be approved by the store manager of the store she was at, then to the DM, then to the RM, then the VP of the company, then forwarded to the payroll department. As a result, her mileage was sent to a previous address. This happened twice. Another time, we moved, and her paycheck was sent to the previous store. That happened twice. Once, they credited the money to a CLOSED BANK ACCOUNT! She tried to get that straightened out, and they said they would send a check. Once again, sent to a previous location. Every one of these transactions had to go through 3 different people before they went to the department where it needed to go.

This next story was the inspiration for this post. I have over the years delivered pizza as a second job. Before moving to North Carolina last month, I worked for a chain for a year and a half as a second job. I worked for a franchise store. I gave them a month notice when we left, and left on very good terms, and was definitely rehire-able. I went to a location near our new place, thinking I could grab a job quickly and have some fast income coming in while I found a real job since we were in a much bigger city. I was WRONG. Seems the location I went to was a corporate store, not a franchise store. It had only been a matter of 3 weeks since I worked for the franchise store, yet I had to interview, then go to a 2 hour orientation, and they had to submit my information to a department who's sole responsibility is to determine if previous employees are eligible for rehire. You'd think a DM could just pick up the phone, and call the previous manager, but you would be wrong. So, I jumped through hoops for a week, and it finally come back that since working for the franchise store, I had not gone on a crime spree, and gotten a DUI or two. So, I was hired. Next step was the orientation. I was told that it only was once a week with the orientation manager. That is all that guy does. He goes from city to city telling people how to deliver pizza and work there.

The orientation day was Tuesday. It WAS scheduled for 6, and this was the only day I could do it. We have a 3 year old, and my wife was scheduled to work that night, so she changed her schedule so I could do it. No problem. Then, I got a phone call from the place, saying the orientation had been moved to 5:00. I told them that my wife had changed her schedule, and I would have to be a few minutes late. They said it was ok. So, I got there at 5:15. The 'orientation manager' was there with a group of new hires, and he had no idea who I was. I told him, and he looked in his books, and informed me that I was scheduled for NEXT week. I told him what had happened, and told him that I was there now. He asked me if I had my orientation paperwork. I knew nothing of orientation paperwork. No one said anything about it. He apologized, and said he couldn't help me. I told him that I had been working for them for a year and a half, and I didn't understand all this red tape. He snidely told me that I worked for a franchise store, and not a corporate store, and corporate stores do things much differently, and screen their employees much deeper, and I would have to learn to do things the "right way."

I told him that there was a reason that franchise stores do better than corporate. For example, I was a top driver at the franchise, and would work whenever needed, and they weren't thrilled to lose me. But, because of the stupidity of the corporate store, I would not be back. I'd go to a competitor if I haven't found a job in the next couple weeks. So, they lost out on a top employee just because the corporation has to have all these DONOTHINGs with a novel sized rule book.

So, I'm sure you have a pretty good idea what my idea is by now. Its simple. Get rid of all these stupid and unnecessary departments, and you can pay your employees more! You know what? Production would go up too because the employees wouldn't have 5 different people breathing down their necks to complete one simple task. 

This goes out to all DONOTHINGs: 

***

Seriously, corporations...Get rid of all those layers of upper management, and give the money you pay them to the people who make you all the money...Your ground level employees. When did an 'orientation manager' ever make a DIME for your company? Never?