Song Lyric Dissection: Cruise by FL/GA Line

And, we don't do it very well!

Are all the good band names gone? Can we not come up with something better than Florida Georgia Line? There's nothing wrong with band names like Alabama, Boston, Chicago, etc. But if you come from a town that straddles a state line, and your town is too small to name a band after, maybe you should come up with a different idea for a name. At least it isn't as bad as those alternative bands with names like 'Garbage Can Liners and Xanax.'

Most country songs are well written. In fact the other country songs listed here are well written. They are dissected for content. But this song has the grammar and skill of a rap song...and ironically enough, this band made a remix of the song with a rapper.

Chorus: Baby you a song

You make me wanna roll my windows down and cruise

If I have to explain what is wrong with that, maybe you need a remedial English course. Here's an intelligent way this chorus could have been written:

Instead of saying "Baby you a song" maybe they could have said "Play me a song?" I don't know. At least have a little bit of pride in your lyrics. And why does she make you want to roll your windows down? Did she fart?

Verse: Yeah, when I first saw that bikini top on her

She’s poppin’ right out of the South Georgia water

Thought, "Oh, good lord, she had them long tanned legs!"

Couldn’t help myself so I walked up and said

Wow...This might be worse than a rap song. The first line is an incomplete sentence that is in past tense. The next line is in present tense. The third and fourth lines are past tense. They are all over the place!

OoooWEEE!!!! Gurl, You is a SONG!

Chorus: Baby you a song

You make me wanna roll my windows down and cruise

Down a back road blowin’ stop signs through the middle

Every little farm town with you

Once again, all over the place with incomplete sentences. Since they wrote "Baby you a song," should we now assume that calling a girl a song is now a redneck pickup line? At least "Baby YOU'RE a song" kind of makes sense. You could call her Melody, but this song has none. Blowing stop signs through the middle...Every little farm town with you. Missing a word there? OF maybe?

Chorus: In this brand new Chevy with a lift kit

Would look a hell of a lot better with you up in it

So baby you a song

You make me wanna roll my windows down and cruise

Lose the word IN, and this part might make sense...until you get to the "up in it" part, which sounds about as ghetto and dumb as anything Kanye West wrote. 

Verse: She was sippin’ on Southern and singin’ Marshall Tucker

We were falling in love in the sweet heart of summer

She hopped right up into the cab of my truck and said,

"Fire it up, let’s go get this thing stuck."

Wait a minute...Do you have a time machine? Because if I am reading this correctly, it looks like she

came out of the water, then you started hitting on her, and invited her to go for a ride in your truck. 

She then partied a little more, and sang along with the radio, then jumped into the truck. Ok, I understand that. The entire song talks about meeting this girl for the first time. Which is fine, and the grammar is bad, but it isn't the worst in the song. But, what about the second line of the verse??? "We were falling in love in the sweet heart of summer." You just met her, and up to the point in the song where that line is, she hasn't even gotten into your truck yet. 

Chorus: Baby you a song

You make me wanna roll my windows down and cruise

Down a back road blowin’ stop signs through the middle

Every little farm town with you

In this brand new Chevy with a lift kit

Would look a hell of a lot better with you up in it

So baby you a song

You make me wanna roll my windows down and cruise

Verse: When that summer sun fell to its knees

I looked at her and she looked at me

And I turned on those KC lights and drove all night

'Cause it felt so right, her and I, man we felt so right

Not much wrong with this verse, other than "Her and I" should be "She and I."

Verse: I put it in park and

Grabbed my guitar

And strummed a couple chords

And sang from the heart

Girl you sure got the beat in my chest bumpin’

Hell, I can’t get you out of my head

You JUST said you drove all night. So, is it first thing in the morning now? You've been drinking and driving all night, and you have the energy to stop and play the guitar? 

Come ride in my truck, Gurrrl!

But we still have to go back to the one line where he says that they had been together for a while. Sure, they can hook up and stay up all night, and everything would feel right, but that line makes it seem like this was a relationship that blossomed over the summer.

Talk about the tree that derailed the train.

This song became a number one hit. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it has a good line dancing beat. It sure as hell isn't for the lyrics...although the lyrics may have been what made Nellie want to remake the song with the band. They were written at a level that he could comprehend.

Stay in school, kids!

And, here is the song. The remixed version with Nelly.

Late Movie review: The Purge

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You are depriving me of my right to purge!!!

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I don't bother seeing movies in the theater anymore. Since 2006, I have seen 6 movies in the theater. The 4 Transformers movies, 2009 Star Trek and Star Trek Into Darkness. I am just not into paying good money for overpriced popcorn and soda to sit in a room with a bunch of kids yelling back and forth at each other. Add to that the fact that my hearing isn't all that great due to 15+ years of playing in heavy metal bands, and never wearing earplugs, my movie going experience is less than stellar. So, I wait until they come out on DVD, and watch them at home where I can pause the movie, and use closed captioning. I can also stretch out and get comfortable.

So, I like talking about movies, and I figured I shouldn't be excluded from reviewing them just because they are a couple months behind everyone else, so my reviews might be a little late. No worries. The beauty of this is that the reviews could be a couple months late, or a couple DECADES late!

Last night, I watched The Purge, and if I could, I would purge that movie from my memory. Some people loved this movie, but to me, it was just the same old home invasion movie with a twist...This time, it is LEGAL!!!

We start off with a near future realization that there is no crime, and unemployment is at 1%. And, we have the so called 'New Founders of the United States of America' to thank for this. The reason? Once a year, all crime is legal, including murder for 12 hours to purge all violent thought from everyone's head. BUT, like every "brilliant" law, politicians are exempt from the purge. Much like 0bamacare! Damn, I love our government coming up with all these great laws that are great for all of us, but for some reason, our "they" are exempt. Hollywood unknowingly parodied their beloved boy king, 0bama with this part of the movie.

But, the ridiculousness doesn't end there. The news broadcasters wish God's mercy on the people who are involved in the purge, and pray that "God be with everyone" on this night. When was the last time a politician or a news caster even acknowledged God, other than to say how wrong and illegal it was to bring Him up? (Unless its Allah, then its ok) Think that will change anytime soon? The reporters also repeatedly say things like "Praise the new Founders of America!" That's also funny because if you've watched the news lately, all the reporters do is worship our tyrannical government like they are gods.

Want to know about the people who are killed during The Purge? They are chalked up as an acceptable sacrifice for the greater good. The This movie isn't a scary entertainment piece. Its a wish list for the political left in this country.

Uncle Joe's got it right. PEW PEW PEW!

Notice his dog tags? He is a veteran.

The newscasters also say several times how they are excited to expect the "best purge so far" this year...which means the most people killed. I would have liked to have seen a scene where they showed someone getting "purged" and have that person be a close friend or relative of the reporter. Think they would be so giddy then? Also, with all crime including murder being legal, I suppose if someone wanted to rape and kill a 3 year old kid, that would be ok too? While I am surprised that a typical Hollywood director let all of this go without editing it, one thing in this film that does NOT surprise me is that a man winds up being let into the house of the stars of the story. He is being chased by a group of preppie douchebags who are angry because he killed one of their group in self defense while they were trying to kill him. As if they want you to sit back and let a criminal kill you for no reason, and if you dare defend yourself, you deserve to die even more. (Just buy a shotgun!) But, this man who was being hunted was a veteran. How fitting? A movie with a preppy college mob chasing down and wanting to kill a US veteran? And they also show this veteran being tortured. Stay classy, Hollywood!

But what is possibly the most ridiculous part of this film, the people doing the murdering think that it is some type of entitlement. Several times in the movie, the killers would say things like "You are denying me my right to purge!!!" Only a brainwashed society would actually believe that they have a right over your life, and get angry if you try to defend yourself. It would take an uber medicated society, and a grossly sculpted entitlement system that would have to be many generations old, plus activists teaching classes instead of teachers in order for something like this to happen.

You know, this movie could have been better. they could have showed a group of people trying to get home during the purge because their car broke down right before it began. Although, that movie has been done before.

And, as if this movie wasn't awful enough, I have a question for you:

Which of these scenes came from The Purge?

And while I'm sure each one of you who saw the movie recently got it right but 10 years from now, you probably won't remember. As I said before, there are so many home invasion movies that are exactly the same thing, what is the point? I guess the point is that the little twist of "ITS LEGAL OH MY GOD!!!" worked for enough people that we get the privilege of another piece of cinematic gold. garbage. The Purge 2. Oh goody! I bet that it will be like my description of what this movie could have been. But in the meantime, while we anxiously await The Purge 2, we will undoubtedly be subjected to 20 different home invasion movies, all wanting to cash in on the success of The Purge. Much like when they remade Last House on the Left, the copycat movies 'The House at the End of the Street' and 'Last House on the Right' we will have 'Hate Purge' and 'Channeled Aggression' and the straight to DVD release, Hate Purge 2: The Slumber Party.

Basically, don't waste your time and money on this film. It sucked. I'm done.