Super Bowl Party Menu: Ideas From Chef Telltale

There are traditional holidays, where good, down home cooking is to be expected, like Thanksgiving and Christmas. Now, I love those two holidays, but as far as food goes, my favorite holiday is Super Bowl Sunday. Most times, I will either host a Super Bowl party, or I'll go to one. I am NOT just sitting at home watching it like it was just another Sunday watching the Dolphins lose. You gotta do the Super Bowl parties, and rule number one of cooking for a party is very simple: Don't be lame.

Now THAT is an appetizer tray!!!

But you already knew that, of course.

Super Bowl parties are great because not only are you there with friends, you're cooking. You're trying new ideas, or making signature dishes. You are the chef and the kitchen is your kingdom. And, you have a deadline. If you aren't finished cooking by the time your guests arrive, you are missing out on the fun. Any cooking done after the guests arrive should be along the lines of dropping more chicken wings into the fryer, or getting more hot dogs ready. If you need more burgers, they should already be pattied out, and ready to go on the grill.

Now, here are my rules for when I host a Super Bowl party.

1. Nothing is to be frozen. Not the wings, the hot dogs, the burgers, or anything. Fresh only in my kitchen! (The exception is if you made something fresh the day before and froze it so you can fry it.) 
2. Hot dogs are not to be boiled. They are to be fried. Try it. You'll love it. Grilled tastes great, but they take too long to cook. Frying them only takes about 2 minutes.
3. We will NOT run out of beer, although guests are encouraged to bring their own alcohol.
4. Do not ask me for BBQ sauce for hot wings. Frank's Original Red Hot, or my own Red Death sauce only. If you want BBQ sauce, bring your own, and I will give you some non sauced wings.
5. Wings are only to be fried. Large quantities of wings can be cooked outside in a turkey fryer. I have done this many times at tailgates, and it works great.
6. Cold cut sammiches are best bought from a deli. Its much easier, and in the long run will cost about the same as making it yourself. 

Now that we have those rules out of the way, we can get down to business. Need menu ideas? Here ya go. Some ideas to tweak the basics:

I always try to base what my menu is on the teams that are playing...or more specifically, the team I want to win. For example, when the Saints and Colts played in the Super Bowl, I had Cajun Surf and Turf, because I wanted the Saints to win. That was an easy one. My daughter had just been born a week earlier, so I didn't have a party that year, and I was only cooking for my wife and me. Simply coat a ribeye steak lightly with olive oil, then with Cajun seasoning, and grill it. (I like to make my own Cajun seasoning, but it isn't necessary.) Take as much shrimp as you want, and cook it in lemon juice. Pour the lemon juice out, and dump the shrimp into a bowl, pour a mixture of Frank's Red Hot, butter, and Cajun seasoning over them, and shake them just like you would with hot wings. Serve with potato and garlic bread. A meal fit for a king. Saint.

MMMMMmmmmmmmmm!!!!!

Now, you could serve steaks at your party. Simply have everyone who wants to eat steak show up early and bring their own. You cook it for them with whatever marinade or rub you decide to serve. I've done that before. Potatoes are easy if you don't want to get french fries. Simply get a bag of potatoes, and wrap as many of them in foil as you will need. Then, bake them all together at 400 degrees for about an hour or so.

Now, I mentioned hot wings. Everyone loves hot wings, and everybody thinks they make great wings. They don't. First of all, if you are baking or grilling your wings, you aren't doing them right. They should be deep fried only. Second, you don't have to have a 'secret hot sauce.' People like to take hot sauce, and add all sorts of crap to it. Its overkill, and it doesn't taste good. All you need is Frank's Original Red Hot. OR, their Buffalo Wing Sauce. Its good too, but I prefer the original. Fry em, shake em, serve em. The people you served them to will swear that you bought them from a sports bar, even though they saw you cooking them.

Hamburgers: Whether you cook them on a pan or grill, here are a couple tips that will work on either. First, when you patty them out, flatten them out then while the beef is still raw. Don't smash them while they are cooking. You'll squeeze all the juice out of them, and you lose taste when you do that. Also, throw out the Worcestershire Sauce, garlic and all that other stuff that people put on burgers. Its overkill. Try this: Salt and pepper only, and when the patty is done, pull it off, set it on a plate, and melt butter over the top and under the burger. Make sure there is a little bit of yellowish white tint on the entire burger. TRUST me. Also, see if you can find a ground beef/pork blend. That is EXTREMELY good, and it costs less than whole beef.

Dip! Now, I'm not going to bore you with telling you to get potato chips, or anything like that. Yes, you'll need lots of appetizers, chips, dips, etc. But, here's a twist on spinach dip. First of all, making spinach dip is super easy. Mix spinach with ranch dressing, and cook it. But did you ever try it with some type of meat? I tried it with fish once. A pound of tilapia, and cooked it all until the fish was done. (I suggest swai because its cheap. You wouldn't want to use mahi mahi with this.) That's so easy. All you have to do is not burn it. The fish will fall apart when it's done. Its best served hot though. Dip away! You can also use chicken. Dice up chicken breast and cook it with the dip.

Want to serve meatballs? Want an extremely easy way to cook them and make them tasty? This is how I make mine. I simply roll meatballs, and put them in marinara sauce. (the beef/pork blend works just fine for meatballs too) Put them in a pot on the stove and cook on medium/low. Gently stir every now and then. They will be the absolute easiest thing that you'll make all night. And the beauty of it is that they will be seasoned when they are done. No need to add anything, unless you want to spice up the sauce. Use alot of sauce so the meatballs are covered, and when you put them out, have a pair of tongs so that people can get the meatballs. Also have some Swiss, Provolone, or Mozzarella cheese slices nearby so people can dip them in the sauce. 2 appetizers in one! Personally, I make my own marinara sauce from scratch, but it isn't necessary.

So easy a ___ can do it!

Love pork sammiches? This also is much easier than you think. You don't have to be a BBQ guru to make awesome pulled pork sammiches. First thing when you get up in the morning, put a piece of pork in the slow cooker on high...or the night before set it on low and let it cook overnight. It is done when the pieces easily

pull off. (pulled pork) Put it in a bowl, douse it with BBQ sauce, and stir it up. Then, plop it in a bun, and you're done! Unless your guests come from a BBQ family like I do, your they won't know the difference between your slow cooked pulled pork and slow roasted pulled pork.

Pepper Poppers: First thing to remember about poppers. You will need to make them the day before and freeze them. These are usually done with jalapeno peppers, but I don't particularly like jalapenos. I use the same recipe, but with habaneros. Cut the stem off each pepper, and using a toothpick, gently scrape out the seeds and pulp. Carefully put bits of cheddar cheese inside the pepper skin. Put as much as you can in it without damaging the shell of the pepper. You can also mix cheddar with a little bit of cream cheese. Now, take the seeds, and mix them with a batter. All purpose flour, milk, egg, salt, garlic. Dip the stuffed peppers into the batter, then bread them with flour with bread crumbs, salt, and garlic added. Then, once they are breaded, put them on a cookie sheet and freeze them overnight. Deep fry them the next day. For  mozzarella sticks, use the same technique, except just dip mozzarella cheese sticks into the batter and breading, minus the pepper seeds. Serve them with marinara sauce.

And, ONE more entree: Oven Roasted Beef Brisket. Its easier than you might think to make an

awesome brisket. What takes the most time is making the rub. Get a 4 or 5 pound piece of brisket beef. Then, rub it completely with olive oil. Not too much, not too little. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees, then, cover it with your rub, put it in a pan with a wire rack at the bottom, and bake it for one hour. Then, cover the bottom of the pan about a 1/2 inch with beef broth, cover tightly with foil, lower the temperature to 300 degrees, and bake for 2.5 to 3 hours. Use a meat thermometer after 2.5 hours to determine how rare vs done you want it. The rub can contain whatever you want in it. You can use BBQ sauce, but I don't recommend it. A basic rub would be for a 4 to 5 pound piece of meat, 2 tablespoons of salt, 1.5 tablespoons of chili powder, half a tablespoon of cayenne pepper, 1 tablespoon of garlic powder, 1 tablespoon of onion powder, 1 tablespoon of black pepper, 1 tablespoon of sugar, a crushed bay leaf, 2 tablespoons of ground mustard. It takes about 10 minutes to prepare, then forget about it for a couple hours.

These are just a few items you can cook for your Super Bowl party that are sure to leave you with the distinction of Super Bowl Chef. Try them out, and let me know how it worked for you either here or on Google+. But for now, consider some of these, and good luck with your Super Bowl party! My goal is to make you LEGENDARY!

Why Do I Love Football?

The Face of Boe is a Dolphins fan?

I was going to use this post as an entry into the NFL's contest to win tickets to the Super Bowl, but changed my mind after reading the contest rules. They state that I do not have permission to use my own writing for any purpose other than submitting it to the NFL. I intended to post it here, as well as submitting it to them. But, I don't want to get disqualified or sued for using my own intellectual property.

That would make me NOT love football anymore. Its sad too because this will be a great post. Its their loss though...I'd rather use this post to make my blog better than to have a one in a gazillion shot at Super Bowl tickets.

So, why do I love football? There are many reasons, but the most important reason is that I am a part of a huge family of like minded fans. Football transcends every man made barrier and prejudice.  For example, I am a metalhead, and many times, I have hung out with people who enjoy rap, country, or even Justin Beiber. I generally wouldn't be hanging out at a bar with these people or at a large event with them for the simple fact that the bars they go to would be playing music that I can't stand. But, I can go watch a game at a sports bar or in person with these same people, and have a great time. Regardless of who the other people are a fan of. Football brings people together like nothing else can.

35 years of waiting till next year

Another reason I love football is because unlike relationships with friends or girlfriends, etc, I can put 100% of my emotion into my team, and I know what the outcome will be. My team will either win, or lose. I'm going to be happy or bummed. In relationships, you never know what will happen. I've been a fan of the Miami Dolphins fan for 35 years. That's 29 years longer than my longest relationship with a woman, (my wife) and about 10 years longer than my relationship with my best friend...However, the 2 of us have lost contact for several years a couple times, so does that really count? And even though the Phins have disappointed, I stick with them. I stuck with them in 2007 when they went 1-15. I still wore my jersey with pride at sports bars, and other fans gave me major props for being the only person at the bar wearing Dolphins gear. Even though the last time they won a Super Bowl was the year I was born, I am still a fan. I know that once they do win another one, I will probably be sobbing like a baby. So, what other relationship can you give that much of yourself, and know exactly what you will be getting in return?

Another reason is because the game is more exciting than any other sport. Each play has 100 different possibilities and scenarios that could happen. Its like a chess match. Unlike baseball, where a player is either going to hit the ball or miss. Or basketball, soccer, and hockey where the rules are very similar. Just go up and down the court, and score. Nothing against the other sports at all. All I am saying is that football has much more strategy than the others.

In football, each move is carefully thought out by both teams, and the play is either successful, or it is stopped by the defense. To completely understand football is a feat that will never be accomplished by anyone, which is why the game will continue to get better and better as the years go by.

Bob Griese, Ryan Tannehill, Dan Marino.
3 generations of Dolphins Quarterbacks

Another reason I love football is that it transcends generations. The older players are still very much involved with the teams. They love their team for the most part, and will do anything for them, even if they have been retired for many years. And, the fans still remember and love the old players. Younger fans love hearing stories of great plays by the players of the past. I have told many stories of great shoot outs and comebacks byDan Marino or Joe Montana, John Elway, or punishing hits by Zach Thomas, Jason Taylor, Ronnie Lott and the late, great Derrick Thomas, the phenomenal running of Barry Sanders, and the 'sweetness' of Walter Payton. Great wide receivers like Jerry Rice and Chris Carter. The list goes on and on. The young fans I tell them to listen to me as they would their father telling them about 'back in the day.'

Still waiting for the next Barry

Yet another reason I love football is the camaraderie between players. Even the players in the most heated rivalries have a deep respect for each other. Players coming to each other's aid when they are down. If a player is badly hurt, the players from both teams will huddle up together to pray for their injured teammate/opponent. A very recent example of professional camaraderie happened today. We all know the story of Minnesota Vikings runningback, Adrian Peterson's son being tragically killed. The first game the Vikings played after this atrocity was vs the Carolina Panthers. Panthers QB, Cam Newton took a moment to console Peterson.

Cam Newton: Class act.

I could go on and on, but the last main reason I can think of about why I love football is the TAILGATE, and seeing a game live! There is no other experience like tailgating before going into a game. I have done it both in Miami, and in several other cities where I saw the Dolphins play the home team. There is also a camaraderie there with fans. Like I mentioned before, they are all there for the same reason. The tailgate in my opinion is more fun than a backyard cookout by a long shot. The smell of great food fills the air. Cheers of fans all over the place. Ice cold beer. Its a backyard cookout with 50,000 of your best friends and neighbors. Nothing beats it.

Why do I love football? Simply put, it is my passion. My blood craves it.

So, do you think I should send this to the NFL contest, and take my chances on being disqualified? Let me know. And....

8 Types of Football Fans That Suck!

In honor of FOOTBALL SEASON starting, I figured I'd do a write up on the people who go out of their way to make life more interesting in a bad way for the rest of us sports fans. Today's blog post is a list of fans that you do not want to be..or know for that matter. And if you are one or more of these people, please make a change. Your friends will be very grateful.

______________________________________________________

The Fantasy Football Freak. He's the guy who goes to sports bars with NFL Sunday Ticket not to watch any one game in particular. He's there to watch the players on his fantasy football team. He will run from screen to screen, asking people about his fantasy players. Friend or stranger, he doesn't care. You can be minding your own business watching YOUR team, and this guy will run up to you, and demand to know how your team's QB, RB, WR, etc are doing. Or, he will tell you that he hopes your team loses because your team member is on his fantasy opponent's team. These idiots are easy to spot. They are in the sports bar with papers and pens...and of course, no girlfriend...or friends at all for that matter, unless its another Fantasy Freak. These pathetic football fans actually think that everyone around them cares about what their fantasy football team is doing. Its crazy! In fact, I would bet that alot of these freaks were Dungeons and Dragons freaks when they were younger. If you like fantasy football, but do NOT do this type of thing, than you are not a fantasy football freak.

The Upper Level Diehard. He's the guy sitting in the seats next to the roof who is painted, shirtless, drunk and loud, demanding that everyone around him get up. The team could be down 31-3, but he's still insisting that his crowd noise will help the team out. There is a place for this in the stadium. Usually the lower level end zone and corners, where the groups like The Black Hole in Oakland, The Dog Pound in Cleveland, or The Deep End in Miami are. But not in the top row of the stadium! This guy probably is not a season ticket holder. He probably doesn't get to go to games very often, so he is overly excited. You can almost give him a pass, but he still sucks.

Overly Sentimental Guy. He's the guy who at the sports bar/tailgate/or at the game will for no reason get emotional, saying things like "Guys, it means so much us all being here together like this. Good friends hanging out, drinking beer, and watching football!" Then, he will demand a toast and say "To good friends!"

The Wannabe Scholar. There are several types of these. The guy who is a new football fan but wants everyone to think he has been a fan for years, and he wants people to think he knows everything there is to know about football. Or, the guy who wants to impress a total stranger for no reason. For example, I have been in sports bars wearing my Miami Dolphins gear, and someone will come up to me and say something like "I used to be a big Miami fan when they had Dan Marino." But, they can't name another player from the Marino era. I hear that at least 5 times a season. I firmly believe that you pick a team and you stay with it regardless of how good/bad they are, or who is or isn't on the team. When someone tells me that they were a fan when Marino was there, I usually tell them that they were never a real fan to begin with.

An example of the other type of wannabe scholar is this: I lived in Clarksville, TN from 2000-2003. I would be in sports bars, and all these new Tennessee Titans fans wanted to impress everyone, and of course they all had been life long Houston Oilers fans. You ask them who their first black QB was, and they would always say Steve McNair. But they have NO idea who Warren Moon is.

 But the worst one of all talked to me during the week 1 game of the 2001 season. The Dolphins were playing the Titans in Nashville. Up until that point, the Baltimore Ravens were the only team who had ever beaten the Titans in that stadium. Miami was CRUSHING the Titans. Zach Thomas intercepted McNair, and ran it back for a touchdown, and did a flip into the end zone. One Titans fan tells me that the Titans would win because nobody wins in "The Delpher" (Adelphia Coliseum) except the Titans. I reminded him that the Ravens had done it twice. He then said that it was ok because the Super Bowl champions get a guaranteed spot in the playoffs. I said "Number one, that isn't true. Number 2, the Titans are NOT the Super Bowl champs!" He backed off. Another one, a guy came up to me, saying that he had been a Dolphins fan all his life, and it broke his heart when Ray Finkle missed that field goal in the Super Bowl. I told him to get away from me. Just be yourselves, people! Seriously! Its ok if you are a new fan, or if you don't have alot of knowledge. Nobody is going to think you are stupid...unless you are a wannabee scholar.

But the last type of wannabe scholar can be summed up with a picture, and needs no explanation.

Personally, I like the guy, but not as a football commentator.

The Bandwagon Fan. This guy always has brand new gear from the previous Super Bowl winner. He knows nothing about the history of the team. All he cares about is looking like a winner. That guy is usually a loser. I'm glad I'm not a band wagon fan. It would get really expensive replacing your gear every year. But, you see more band wagon fans in Basketball than anything else. How else can you explain why there were suddenly Oklahoma City fans all over the country, and how many Miami Heat fans outside Florida even know the lineup before Lebron James got there? NOTE: This pic obviously was taken long after this blog post. I used this one after the site crashed because it was the best bandwagon pic I have ever seen.

The Jerk. This guy is the greatest fan in the world. Nobody knows more about the team than he does, and if you try to call him on it, he will try to pick a fight with you. Although he will get into fights with the opponent's fans, he more often gets into fights with fans of his own team.

The Eternal Pessimist. The way he talks about his team, you'd swear his team was a division rival. He downs them constantly, when they make a good play, he swears it was luck because the QB was trying to throw the ball to someone else. The kicker could hit a field goal, and he would whine because it wasn't straight down the middle. These people are ZERO fun to watch a game with. I have told people to get away from me if they were going to talk like that. They ruin the experience, and they are a total buzz kill. Here's a rl he'd be really happy with:

Bad Cliche Guy. He will be watching a game with you, and say the dumbest and most worn out, over used lines of all time, and he will say it like he really means it and thought it up on his own. Things like "I guess they just don't want to win!" Yeah. The team huddled up and said "You know what, I really don't feel like winning today. Lets let the other guys have it!" That, or "Best in the league!" when an average player makes an average play. "Wow! That second string offensive lineman made a huge block! He is the best in the league, and he really needs more playing time. You can't teach things like that!" Maybe we should rename this fan "Wannabe Commentator."

So, watch out for these types of people. And if you're guilty of any of it, just stop doing it. Nobody will notice it, and you won't get any compliments, but your friends will appreciate it, and you will find that you have a better time watching football.

All this being said, I hope your team has a GREAT football season (unless you are a NY Jets, Buffalo Bills, or New England Patriots fan.) ;)

GO PHINS!!!