Super Bowl Party Menu: Ideas From Chef Telltale

There are traditional holidays, where good, down home cooking is to be expected, like Thanksgiving and Christmas. Now, I love those two holidays, but as far as food goes, my favorite holiday is Super Bowl Sunday. Most times, I will either host a Super Bowl party, or I'll go to one. I am NOT just sitting at home watching it like it was just another Sunday watching the Dolphins lose. You gotta do the Super Bowl parties, and rule number one of cooking for a party is very simple: Don't be lame.

Now THAT is an appetizer tray!!!

But you already knew that, of course.

Super Bowl parties are great because not only are you there with friends, you're cooking. You're trying new ideas, or making signature dishes. You are the chef and the kitchen is your kingdom. And, you have a deadline. If you aren't finished cooking by the time your guests arrive, you are missing out on the fun. Any cooking done after the guests arrive should be along the lines of dropping more chicken wings into the fryer, or getting more hot dogs ready. If you need more burgers, they should already be pattied out, and ready to go on the grill.

Now, here are my rules for when I host a Super Bowl party.

1. Nothing is to be frozen. Not the wings, the hot dogs, the burgers, or anything. Fresh only in my kitchen! (The exception is if you made something fresh the day before and froze it so you can fry it.) 
2. Hot dogs are not to be boiled. They are to be fried. Try it. You'll love it. Grilled tastes great, but they take too long to cook. Frying them only takes about 2 minutes.
3. We will NOT run out of beer, although guests are encouraged to bring their own alcohol.
4. Do not ask me for BBQ sauce for hot wings. Frank's Original Red Hot, or my own Red Death sauce only. If you want BBQ sauce, bring your own, and I will give you some non sauced wings.
5. Wings are only to be fried. Large quantities of wings can be cooked outside in a turkey fryer. I have done this many times at tailgates, and it works great.
6. Cold cut sammiches are best bought from a deli. Its much easier, and in the long run will cost about the same as making it yourself. 

Now that we have those rules out of the way, we can get down to business. Need menu ideas? Here ya go. Some ideas to tweak the basics:

I always try to base what my menu is on the teams that are playing...or more specifically, the team I want to win. For example, when the Saints and Colts played in the Super Bowl, I had Cajun Surf and Turf, because I wanted the Saints to win. That was an easy one. My daughter had just been born a week earlier, so I didn't have a party that year, and I was only cooking for my wife and me. Simply coat a ribeye steak lightly with olive oil, then with Cajun seasoning, and grill it. (I like to make my own Cajun seasoning, but it isn't necessary.) Take as much shrimp as you want, and cook it in lemon juice. Pour the lemon juice out, and dump the shrimp into a bowl, pour a mixture of Frank's Red Hot, butter, and Cajun seasoning over them, and shake them just like you would with hot wings. Serve with potato and garlic bread. A meal fit for a king. Saint.

MMMMMmmmmmmmmm!!!!!

Now, you could serve steaks at your party. Simply have everyone who wants to eat steak show up early and bring their own. You cook it for them with whatever marinade or rub you decide to serve. I've done that before. Potatoes are easy if you don't want to get french fries. Simply get a bag of potatoes, and wrap as many of them in foil as you will need. Then, bake them all together at 400 degrees for about an hour or so.

Now, I mentioned hot wings. Everyone loves hot wings, and everybody thinks they make great wings. They don't. First of all, if you are baking or grilling your wings, you aren't doing them right. They should be deep fried only. Second, you don't have to have a 'secret hot sauce.' People like to take hot sauce, and add all sorts of crap to it. Its overkill, and it doesn't taste good. All you need is Frank's Original Red Hot. OR, their Buffalo Wing Sauce. Its good too, but I prefer the original. Fry em, shake em, serve em. The people you served them to will swear that you bought them from a sports bar, even though they saw you cooking them.

Hamburgers: Whether you cook them on a pan or grill, here are a couple tips that will work on either. First, when you patty them out, flatten them out then while the beef is still raw. Don't smash them while they are cooking. You'll squeeze all the juice out of them, and you lose taste when you do that. Also, throw out the Worcestershire Sauce, garlic and all that other stuff that people put on burgers. Its overkill. Try this: Salt and pepper only, and when the patty is done, pull it off, set it on a plate, and melt butter over the top and under the burger. Make sure there is a little bit of yellowish white tint on the entire burger. TRUST me. Also, see if you can find a ground beef/pork blend. That is EXTREMELY good, and it costs less than whole beef.

Dip! Now, I'm not going to bore you with telling you to get potato chips, or anything like that. Yes, you'll need lots of appetizers, chips, dips, etc. But, here's a twist on spinach dip. First of all, making spinach dip is super easy. Mix spinach with ranch dressing, and cook it. But did you ever try it with some type of meat? I tried it with fish once. A pound of tilapia, and cooked it all until the fish was done. (I suggest swai because its cheap. You wouldn't want to use mahi mahi with this.) That's so easy. All you have to do is not burn it. The fish will fall apart when it's done. Its best served hot though. Dip away! You can also use chicken. Dice up chicken breast and cook it with the dip.

Want to serve meatballs? Want an extremely easy way to cook them and make them tasty? This is how I make mine. I simply roll meatballs, and put them in marinara sauce. (the beef/pork blend works just fine for meatballs too) Put them in a pot on the stove and cook on medium/low. Gently stir every now and then. They will be the absolute easiest thing that you'll make all night. And the beauty of it is that they will be seasoned when they are done. No need to add anything, unless you want to spice up the sauce. Use alot of sauce so the meatballs are covered, and when you put them out, have a pair of tongs so that people can get the meatballs. Also have some Swiss, Provolone, or Mozzarella cheese slices nearby so people can dip them in the sauce. 2 appetizers in one! Personally, I make my own marinara sauce from scratch, but it isn't necessary.

So easy a ___ can do it!

Love pork sammiches? This also is much easier than you think. You don't have to be a BBQ guru to make awesome pulled pork sammiches. First thing when you get up in the morning, put a piece of pork in the slow cooker on high...or the night before set it on low and let it cook overnight. It is done when the pieces easily

pull off. (pulled pork) Put it in a bowl, douse it with BBQ sauce, and stir it up. Then, plop it in a bun, and you're done! Unless your guests come from a BBQ family like I do, your they won't know the difference between your slow cooked pulled pork and slow roasted pulled pork.

Pepper Poppers: First thing to remember about poppers. You will need to make them the day before and freeze them. These are usually done with jalapeno peppers, but I don't particularly like jalapenos. I use the same recipe, but with habaneros. Cut the stem off each pepper, and using a toothpick, gently scrape out the seeds and pulp. Carefully put bits of cheddar cheese inside the pepper skin. Put as much as you can in it without damaging the shell of the pepper. You can also mix cheddar with a little bit of cream cheese. Now, take the seeds, and mix them with a batter. All purpose flour, milk, egg, salt, garlic. Dip the stuffed peppers into the batter, then bread them with flour with bread crumbs, salt, and garlic added. Then, once they are breaded, put them on a cookie sheet and freeze them overnight. Deep fry them the next day. For  mozzarella sticks, use the same technique, except just dip mozzarella cheese sticks into the batter and breading, minus the pepper seeds. Serve them with marinara sauce.

And, ONE more entree: Oven Roasted Beef Brisket. Its easier than you might think to make an

awesome brisket. What takes the most time is making the rub. Get a 4 or 5 pound piece of brisket beef. Then, rub it completely with olive oil. Not too much, not too little. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees, then, cover it with your rub, put it in a pan with a wire rack at the bottom, and bake it for one hour. Then, cover the bottom of the pan about a 1/2 inch with beef broth, cover tightly with foil, lower the temperature to 300 degrees, and bake for 2.5 to 3 hours. Use a meat thermometer after 2.5 hours to determine how rare vs done you want it. The rub can contain whatever you want in it. You can use BBQ sauce, but I don't recommend it. A basic rub would be for a 4 to 5 pound piece of meat, 2 tablespoons of salt, 1.5 tablespoons of chili powder, half a tablespoon of cayenne pepper, 1 tablespoon of garlic powder, 1 tablespoon of onion powder, 1 tablespoon of black pepper, 1 tablespoon of sugar, a crushed bay leaf, 2 tablespoons of ground mustard. It takes about 10 minutes to prepare, then forget about it for a couple hours.

These are just a few items you can cook for your Super Bowl party that are sure to leave you with the distinction of Super Bowl Chef. Try them out, and let me know how it worked for you either here or on Google+. But for now, consider some of these, and good luck with your Super Bowl party! My goal is to make you LEGENDARY!

Check Please: Stories of Abandoned Dates

We all have them...Stories from dates in the past. Good stories, bad stories, funny stories, or just plain old interesting stories. Here are a few of mine from my single days. Nights where I walked out on my date for various reasons. Hopefully you find these as interesting as I do.

We'll start with 2 dates that I bailed on. Yep. A guy who actually walked out on a date. I was working as a photographer in Hilton Head, SC. I had a gig where I would take boarding photos of people for a dinner cruise with the lighthouse in the background of the photo. I would go get the photos printed, and sell them when the cruise got back. There is a bar close by where I was a regular. I adored one of the waitresses there, and had been flirting with her for about a week, and the other waiters and bar tenders were telling her that I was cool and to calm down and go out with me. One day, she was working a day shift, and I showed up for some food before I went to take my pictures. There was a concert that same night that she was going to closeby. I asked her if she wanted to go out after I got done. She said she was going to the concert, but would meet me at this bar after the show, about 10:00 and we would go out. I got done with my photos, and went to the bar to wait for her. The bartender told me that she was excited about going out with me. Well, the show ended, and she came over to the bar, but she was 3 sheets to the wind, sloppy, staggering drunk. We went to a different bar, and the whole time, she was blurting out things like "HEEEE LIIIIKES MEEEE!!! AND I LIIIIKE HIMMMMMM! She also started beating on my back for some reason. Then, she fell on her ass. I asked the bartender if anybody there knew her. The bartender said he knew her, and would call her roommate and have her come pick her up. I thanked him, and left. I saw her the next day when I worked. She was embarrassed, and apologized. I told her it was ok, and we stayed friends, but neither of us asked the other out again.

Frank, I's gonna tell you somethin I've
 NEEVER told a guy
before...I REALLY love horsies!

I get that everybody has gotten schnockered, and made fools out of themselves. I have on more than one occasion. But, I've never done it on a first date. I've been told by guys after telling this story that I was an idiot for turning down a sure thing as far as getting laid that night. Seriously? Since my early 20's, I have never been so desperate for sex that I would put up with someone acting like a moron and embarrassing me.

I HATE YOU!!! YOU SUCK!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!
NOW BUY ME A DRINK!!!

Another quick story before I continue that I just reminded myself of...I was at a bar one night, and there was a woman who was blitzed, and didn't realize that she was about to get her ass kicked by another woman. She got kicked out of the bar, but started screaming that she didn't have a ride. The bartender said she was about to call the police. I was ready to go to another bar to meet some people, and I told her to come with me before she got arrested. She did. The whole ride there, she was talking about suing the bar. I was going to get her some coffee, and if she calmed down, maybe try for a little company for the night. (she was really hot.) I met up with my friends, and got her some coffee. She then blew up on me, calling me names, while telling me that I was going to testify at her hearing when she sued the other bar. I tried to get her to calm down, and finally, I had enough. I simply told her to go away. Once she realized I was serious, she got real quiet and sat down at the bar alone, while my friends laughed hysterically. 

Once again, Not going to take being screamed at by some chick just to get a little action.

WAIT!! I NEED ANOTHER DRINK!!!

The next story started the same way most do. Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy asks girl out, girl says yes...but the rest rarely happens, as the reaction from friends proves. People just can't believe that a guy would walk out on a date with a pretty girl. Anyway, we decided to go out for drinks the next night. We were sitting at the bar, talking when she saw some friends. She said she would be right back. She came back, when her drink was empty. This went on for about 30 minutes. I had enough, and went to the table, and said that I had to get something from my car, and I would be right back. She had left a bag in the car. I grabbed it, came back in, and gave it to her, and told her I was gone. She was puzzled, saying she was just about to come back . The 2 guys she was sitting with were intimidated. I'm 6'4" and 230 lbs. One said "Hey man, I didn't know she was with you, and I don't want any problems." I told him that I had no problems with him, and I just wanted to give her back her bag, and they could have her. I walked out, and she followed, trying to talk to me but I kept walking. I got into my car and drove away. I ran into her a few days later, and she tried to apologize. I asked her if she had gotten home safely, and walked away again.

People have actually told me that I was rude, and in the wrong here. I want to know why. Sure, I made a scene, but the scene was "Do NOT Screw with me." If I had walked up to her and asked her to please stop ignoring me, I would have been a laughing stock for the two guys she was sitting with. Instead, they were both scared of me. So, seriously, who was in the wrong here? Her or me?

Seriously though, let me analyze the two for you. There are differences in what both women did. For example, the second one, we didn't know each other. I literally met her the first day, and asked her out on the spot. I didn't know her from anyone. So, when I ditched her, I had no history with her whatsoever. I wasn't mad at her after the fact, but I also didn't want to waste my time with her. In my opinion, her trying to apologize to me days later meant to me that she wanted to try again. I did not, so I was rude to her because I didn't feel like explaining it. She knew what she did, so wasting my time by letting her apologize could have given her the wrong idea about my intentions, which is why I walked away. 

The first one, I had a friendship more or less before we went out. I had known her for about a month and a half, but I started flirting with her about a week before formally asking her out. She got drunk, and made an ass out of herself. It happens. I've been on the opposite side of this coin as well. So, I wasn't mad at her when that happened, but I also didn't want to be in a relationship with someone who went that crazy with the booze. 

Next, here's a story where I got walked out on... I was 18 or 19. I had just broken up with a girl. She was crazy, and I do mean crazy. Follow you like a lost puppy crazy...Collect the hair out of your hairbrush crazy...Together less than a month, and talking about marriage and children crazy...Wants to completely isolate you from the world crazy...You get the picture. 

Anyway, she of course was devastated, and couldn't live without me. She was constantly trying to get me to take her back.  One day, I got a phone call. It was one of her friends who asked me out to dinner. I was not into this friend at all, and I suspected something was up. The first half of the dinner, she was talking about the girl I had broken up with. I was right. It was a setup to try to get me to feel nostalgic and take my ex back. 

Finally, I put the brakes on it by saying that I didn't want to talk about my ex anymore. I wanted to talk about the two of us. I started to get close to her, put my arm around her, and tried to kiss her. She kept trying to talk about how I should go back to the ex, so I grabbed her in a gentle but firm way, and kissed her on the mouth. That did it. She slapped me, and left and called someone to pick her up. My plan worked, my ex's plan backfired, and I never heard from either of them again.

What kind of friend sends another friend to do that? I tell you, I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when the two of them talked next.

And now, the finale. I saved the best for last. This wasn't a date in the typical sense. I was married to my first wife at the time, and I went to a friend's bar by myself to hang out with my buddy, who was working that night. We were talking, when all of a sudden, a rather attractive woman sat down next to me, and started talking to me. The bar started getting busy, and my friend had to get to work making drinks. This woman started buying me drink after drink, and I noticed her look at my wedding band several times. I continued to talk to her, and every so often, she would lean in and try to kiss me. I stopped her every time, saying that I didn't like to make out in public. She laughed and called me a tease. Finally, the night started drawing to a close. I was starting to wonder how I was going to get out of this. (I never cheat.) Then, an opportunity presented itself. She said she needed to use the restroom, but she assumed we were going back to her place together. I said yes, and winked at her. She got up, and I looked at my friend and said "Later bud!" He laughed, and shook his head. The next time I went to that bar, my friend told me that when she came out of the bathroom and realized that I had left, she was furious.

So, there you guys go. To all of you who have spent an entire evening at a bar, buying drinks for a woman you just met, only to have her ditch you at the end of the night, I did that for YOU! Its happened to me, and I'm sure its happened to the rest of you. So, raise your drinks, and toast! I toast the brotherhood of men. I have avenged all of you! And, it was SO worth it. Once again, I wish I could have been a fly on the wall.

One last thing, guys...You owe me a beer for doing that for you. You're welcome! 

I hope you all enjoyed these stories. I sure had fun reliving them as I told them. Let's hear yours in the replies!

Red Hot: The TRUE Story of Buffalo Wings...

Hey! There are beer and
Hot Wings in this Photo!
YUMMY!

Since it is Football season, I figured that a post on the best football food out there would be in order. Grab a beer because everybody knows that hot wings and beer are the best food and beverage combo on the planet. Its gonna get SPICY in here!

Basically, the owner of the Anchor Bar, in Buffalo, NY invented them. From their website:

 One night back on March 4,1964,Dominic Bellissimo was tending bar at the now famous Anchor Bar Restaurant in Buffalo, NY. Late that evening, a group of Dominic's friends arrived at the bar with ravenous appetites. Dominic asked his mother, Teressa, to prepare something for his friends to eat. 

They looked like chicken wings, a part of the chicken that usually went into the stock pot for soup. Teressa had deep fried the wings and flavored them with a secret sauce. The wings were an instant hit and it didn't take long for people to flock to the bar to experience this new taste sensation. From that evening on, Buffalo Wings became a regular part of the menu at the Anchor Bar. 

The phenomenon created in 1964 by Teressa Bellissimo has spread across the globe. Although many have tried to duplicate Buffalo Wings, the closely guarded secret recipe is what makes Frank & Teressa's the proclaimed "Best Wings in the World."

That "Secret Sauce' was none other than Frank's Original Red Hot. The ORIGINAL hot sauce, made from Cayenne Pepper. Frank's has since come out with many different flavors, and why wouldn't they? But, my favorite is the Original, and the most imitated is the original.

Since hot wings exploded onto the scene in the 80's, several huge chains

Here's an innocent looking Hooters
Girl just because.

have sprung up, such as Hooters, Buffalo Wild Wings, and Wild Wing Cafe. While they have good wings, and plenty of eye candy there in the case of Hooters, I still defer to the old adage of 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it.' Meaning that there is no reason other than pride to use anything other than Frank's. When I was younger, I worked at a restaurant that would mix tomato juice with Texas Pete hot sauce, and add Italian salad dressing, along with Tabasco sauce and black pepper to it, and call it the 'best secret hot wing recipe in the world!' There is a reason that place is no longer in business. Their wings were horrible. 
And these chain pizza restaurants that offer wings? They fry them partially, then yank them out and ship them to their stores who run them through an oven and douse them with a hot sauce that is loaded with extra ingredients so they can claim it as theirs. Keep reading, my friends!

BBQ sauce on wings?

There is no reason to put breading on the wings, no reason to add anything (other than cayenne pepper, or something hotter for extra heat) to the Frank's Red Hot. And, they are not hard to make at all. You simply deep fry them, then pull them out of the oil, and put them in a bucket. Pour the sauce on it, then shake the wings in a circular motion, and serve. You don't want to bake them, and you damn sure don't want to cook them on a grill. And, if you want BBQ chicken, then make BBQ chicken. Don't bother putting BBQ sauce on hot wings. I am a hot wings guru, and I will laugh at you if you do. 

Case in point, I eat hot wings at home all the time. Every time I cook them at a party I throw, or even at a tailgate party, people always ask me what restaurant I got my sauce from because my wings were simply amazing. They can't believe it when I tell them that all I use is Frank's Original Red Hot. I honestly don't understand what is so hard to believe about it. Fry em' then dunk em' in the sauce. You will get wings that are BETTER than what most wing restaurants or sports bars serve. 

Awww hell yeah!

I am a Miami Dolphins fan. Back in 2006, I went to a Dolphins home game vs the Buffalo Bills. I decided to cook hot wings at the tailgate party. I brought a turkey fryer, and about 400 raw wings. Nobody was paying any attention to me until I pulled the first batch from the oil and dumped the Frank's on them. The aroma went everywhere, and the people nearby smelled it, and swooped in. I expected this, which is why I brought 400 wings. That tailgate was amazing. There were Buffalo Bills fans who told me that they were season ticket holders in Buffalo, and they had never seen anyone cook Buffalo Wings at a tailgate in a turkey fryer. They tried them, and were amazed. I asked them if they were going to cook wings this way once they got back home. They said that they were absolutely going to do it. I told them to make sure they told everyone in Buffalo that they got the idea from a Miami Dolphins fan. It was a great time.

Since then, I have cooked wings at every tailgate party I have been to. I've done it in Atlanta, Nashville, Cincinnati, and a couple more times in Miami. The reaction is the same every time. I attract people! But, the bottom line is that hot wings, fried with Frank's Original Red Hot is the PERFECT recipe for hot wings. Period. 

Add beer for perfection! YUM!!!

Don't deviate from it. They got it right at the Anchor Bar in Buffalo, and if it ain't broke, DON'T FIX IT! 

That being said, the chains like Hooters, BWW, WWC, etc do make some good wings, but they fail in comparison to the wings made with the ORIGINAL formula...I've said before, and I will say it again:

FRANK'S ORIGINAL RED HOT with FRIED CHICKEN WINGS!!!

Also, they are the best fried crispy with a little pool of sauce on the plate.

Heed my words. Make some REAL wings, grab a beer, and enjoy!

...and let me know how your party turned out for you.

Signed, William Telltale
Hot Wings Guru