I Hate my Mother In Law...Now, Lets Have a Reality Show!

I guess its time to get the root of the matter about my 5 gift ideas post. Lets face it...My mother in law is an evil, rotten person. I made this post on a Facebook page called 'I Hate My Mother in Law!'

I had a good job in a different state, and my MIL started guilting my wife about how she missed my daughter. After months of arguing, I finally caved in, and we moved here. I couldn't find a job here, and we had to stay with her for a few months. She went out of her way to make sure everyone under the roof was miserable, and had the audacity to say that if we wanted to move here, we should have made sure I had a job. I reminded her that I was dragged here kicking and screaming, and didn't want to move here, and that the only reason we came was because she made my wife feel bad. She smoked pot in front of my daughter inside the house, but bitched when I came inside from smoking a cigarette. I put my foot down once we got the hell out of there, and said that once we save enough money, we are leaving this town. My wife told the MIL, and she tried to guilt her again. I told my wife that I would never keep my daughter away from her grandmother, and that the MIL would be more than welcome to come visit...on HER dime, and she would have to pay for a hotel, or pay for ME to go to a hotel. That pretty much sealed the deal. The bitch doesn't drive, and lives on disability, so once we leave, I will not have to worry about her presence ever again. lol

That's pretty self explanatory right? I mean after reading that, is there any doubt in your mind about what my feelings were about her, and how often I would like to see her? I mean, I think that I am pretty good at painting a picture with words; Don't you??

Apparently not!

There was a reply on that post from a Hollywood casting director, telling me that she could help, and asked me to send her a message if I would like to be on a reality show about bad mother in laws. Oh boy! Its my shot to be a big movie star! My 15 minutes of fame! My chance to be as big as those awesome Jersey Shore actors! Where's the phone?? WHERE'S THE DAMN PHONE???

NOT!

So, not only did I reply back saying that I was not interested, I included something like this (paraphrasing) "Why in the hell would you even try to get people from this page onto your stupid reality show? I mean if someone truly hates their mother in law like I do, what makes you think that I would want to be around her with a camera crew recording me making an ass out of myself for a national television audience? I mean really...If anyone who says they hate their mother in law, then goes on your crappy show, then they don't really hate their mother in law!"

He kinda looks like John McCain

Well, the casting person took her post down, but not before several people 'liked' my post. Seriously. Think about it...I posted that before we moved away. Later on the page, I posted that we had moved 2 hours away, and she was out of my life for good. This casting person knew this because she 'liked' that post. Then, she sent the other message. So, let me get this straight...I've moved away, but she wants me to move back for this stupid show??? Uhh, let me think abo-NO! Not even for -------------------------------------------------------->

So, can somebody tell me why people so desperately want their 15 minutes of fame that they are willing to make complete and total asses of themselves in front of millions of people?  It doesn't make sense. This is the second blog post I've made about reality shows. The first was about Teen Mom and how these girls are basically rewarded for being sluts.  I really do not understand it. Honestly. I think that anyone who goes on these shows should be ridiculed for it. First of all, most of it is staged. Teen Mom is for example. Second, the shows are so freaking boring, I would rather perform a vasectomy on myself with no novocaine, using a rusty butter knife than sit through an hour of that crap.

Sure, I don't understand it, and I never will. But until the dumb masses in this country figure out that Hollywood is out of ideas for TV shows, the reality shows will keep coming...And, they pay these reality numbskulls a hell of alot less than real actors. So basically, never. They are here to stay, and we as a nation are the worse for it. Please, people...Stop watching reality shows, and stop making stupid people famous. Seriously, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardassian are famous because they screwed someone on camera. They have done NOTHING of note or value, and are worthless people.

Attention, America...I say again...STOP IT PLEASE!!!

5 Gift Ideas for someone you hate...Like a mother in law

That pic is really hilarious. And, true in so many of our cases. Why do these people think they need to go out of their way to make your lives miserable? In many cases, you do something nice for the person, and you wind up being treated like a scumbag for it. 

 

 

Case and point, my mother in law guilted my wife into moving close to her so she could see her grand daughter. I had a good job at the time, but after this move, I couldn't find another one, and we had to stay with this troll for a few months. She went out of her way to make everyone involved completely miserable...even the grand daughter. Since we left her place, I haven't seen or talked to her in almost a year and a half, and she can't understand why. She thinks she is a perfect little angel, and that I am the one with the problem. Who cares? I sure don't. I'm fine as long as I don't have to see her.

Now, Mother's Day, her birthday, and Christmas come around every year. Lucky for me, my wife doesn't insist that I get the troll anything. But, some of you aren't that lucky. Some of you have to give gifts to someone who instead of seeing them, you would rather french kiss a starving wolverine with bad breath. So, I came up with a list of 5 things to get for someone you hate, whether its a mother in law, sibling, aunt/uncle, or whoever. A list of 5 seemingly innocent and thoughtful things that can have hidden meanings. A way of expressing your feelings toward that person without your spouse or that hated person having any idea that your gift means "Go jump off a cliff into a pool filled with sharks, piranhas, and lamprey eels."

Keep in mind, these are 'keep the peace' gifts that will satisfy your spouse because you actually got something for the inlaw. These gifts will make the inlaw happy, but give you inner satisfaction.

Gift number 5: A Snuggie. She will like this, but we all know how stupid looking those things are.
 



Or maybe one for her cat?



Gift number 4: If she has a dog or cat, get her a big bag of dog or cat food. That way, you aren't getting HER anything, and she won't know the difference.

Gift number 3: The $5 to $10 movie collections you see in grocery stores. You know, the ones with 8 bad movies you've never even heard of?

 

Make SURE you get the
horror collection!

Gift number 2: A kid's crossword puzzle or word search book. "Oops, I didn't realize this was a children's puzzle book. It was with the others and I was in a hurry. I'm sorry!" But what you are saying is that you think a children's book is all she is smart enough to figure out. So, you have to apologize, but the apology masks your true intention. 

Gift number 1, (my personal favorite) A bag of almonds. Yes, a simple bag of almonds.Why almonds? Did you know that almonds have trace amounts of cyanide in them? Need I say more?

 

 

 

All of these suggestions are great subtle ways to make yourself feel better about getting a gift for someone you hate. Got another one? List it!