Rock and Roll Children: Parenting Done Right!

The (Metal) Kids Are Alright  

Everyone knows that the 80's metal children grew up with a level of intelligence that fans of other genres just simply didn't have. Its because the music made by iconic bands like Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Dream Theater, Savatage, Megadeth, Metallica, and countless others was simply put, intelligent. Especially those kids who became musicians themselves. Metal fans don't just listen to their music. They absorb and ingest it, analyze it, and dissect it. They break every single little riff down individually, and know the most simple high hat ting as much as they know the lyrics and guitar solos. And, they know every single note of the guitar solos too. This intense studying of the music later turned into brains that are extremely attentive and sensitive to detail. 

So, what are these attentive brains doing to make me say that this is parenting done right? Its simple. They are exposing their kids to the same music that they grew up with. The result? Smart kids who know the difference between great music, and the over saturated commercial garbage that their classmates and adult drones are listening to on the radio. They have inducted their kids into a family that will be there for life. Metal is more than music. Its a lifestyle, and they (like us) will always have a home at a metal concert. Raising them on metal isn't easy either. You might have a spouse that doesn't like metal, and that can be a difficult hurdle, especially if the parents are no longer together, and share custody of the child.

I have several stories about metal kids that I've encountered over the years, including a story about how I'm doing my part to raise a metal kid. We'll start with last night. I am in Portland, Oregon, and Judas Priest played a concert here. It took an act of the Metal Gods to get me to that concert, but you can read about that in my review here.

I was waiting in the line to get a beer, when I saw a father, age 40, and his daughter who looked about 9 or 10. She was dressed in black, and had a J and a P on each cheek. The father was proud to be taking his princess to her first metal concert. Judas Priest. Not bad, huh? He was beaming with pride, and we started talking about raising kids with metal. He said that his wife was leary about the girl going, to which he told her that there was nothing to worry about. The father told me that his daughter played guitar...an Ibanez, no less, and could play all the notes in Breaking the Law, among others. She even knew who Nita Strauss is, and is a fan. I enjoyed meeting them, and I wish I could hear what she thought of the concert. 

Guys, if you see this, please let me know
what she thought of the concert. She
was awesome!

Next, I'm going to tell you about a couple instances with my youngest daughter, who is 8 years old. The first concert she ever went to was a local band at a July 4th festival in South Carolina. She was still very little, and I spent the majority of the evening with her on my shoulders. There was a classic rock cover band playing onstage, but we were trying to stay away from them because my now ex wife was worried about the volume. (It wasn't that loud) But, she kept making it very known that she wanted to go closer. We did, and she was rocking on my shoulders, and loving every moment of it. A local newspaper took our picture, and it made it in the paper.

A few years later, we took her to a festival in Fayetteville, NC where Warrant was playing. Same thing, even down to the reporter taking our picture. Not sure if that one made it in the paper though.

My daughter,  Warrant,
And me

I've taken her to several concerts, mostly locals including my hometown heroes, Dead Serios, and Geezer, and a teen girl rock band called Good Luck Audrey. She loves all three of these bands. But, my the most special one to me was Dead Serios. I got to join them onstage to sing a part in their hit, No More Pipe For Potato Head. I didn't tell her that I was going to be doing this, so when I got called up to the stage, she had no idea. She was just sitting there in awe because she had heard me talk about how I used to be in bands before she was born, but she had never seen me perform. One guy told me that she looked at him, pointed at me, and yelled "That's my DAD!" Proud papa moment, for sure. But, another proud papa moment happened at that show as well. Guitarist, Doug Gibson, a local guitar virtuoso also had his own son join the band onstage to play guitar as a guest in their cover of Blister in the Sun by Violent Femmes. I talked to him, and he told me that his favorite guitarist growing up was his dad. He's one of my favorites too.

My daughter with Dead Serios

The last one I'm going to talk about happened at a Stryper concert in 2005, in Charlotte, NC. There were lots of teenagers there. I asked one of them why he was there. He told me that his dad listened to Stryper, and he grew up with them. He told me that he was learning to play metal guitar, and he just had to hear Soldiers Under Command live. 

Parenting. You're doing it right!
If you have pics of you and your metal kids,  email them to me at willtelltale@gmail.com subject line Metal Kids. If I get enough of them,  I'll make a folder on this blog for them.  I'm also thinking about doing a radio show on that topic once we bring the show back.

#MetalKids
#ParentingYoureDoingItRight

Hide Your Lawnmowers! Dead Serios is Back???

Hoogah-Chakka

Hoogah-Chakka!

Could it be? Central Florida comedy punk metal legends, Dead Serios are going to record a new album? That would be a quadruple badass surgery on my senses. That would make my year! My favorite band of all time coming (once again) out of retirement to show everyone how its done! This needs to happen! 

Bear with me for a moment. Let me reminisce for a moment! I remember my long time best friend at one of their shows in the 90's, during their hit song 'Lawn Care Studs' going, and grabbing a REAL lawnmower, firing it up, and moshing around the pit with it as lead singer, DL Serios led the pit with his sacrificial Playschool lawnmower. I remember seeing 1500 people pack out the Power Station in Melbourne Florida to see the band open for a national touring act, and half the audience leaving after their set, leaving the national band wondering where half the crowd went. 

Dead Serios was the band that every local band wanted to be. They were loud, obnoxious, funny, and extremely talented, and EVERYONE loved them, and still does. You couldn't see them in concert for the first time and not love them. DL Serios is one of the greatest frontmen to ever step on the stage. Bassist, Joe Delcorvo is among the skill set of Steve Harris. Guitarist, Doug Gibson is an upper echelon shredder, who could easily match up with some of the worldwide greats. Drummer, Scooter Greenbud is one of the best drummers in Central Florida, and could fill in for any national band. So, am I excited about this possibility? You betcha!

Anyway, here's the story. Record label, Ghoul Tone Records, who released the Dead Serios tribute album in 2015 has contacted the band, asking them to record a new album. They are also re-releasing the entire Dead Serios catalog, completely remastered! SWEET! And, I was just thinking about asking DL for a bunch of the classic songs on MP3. So, I'm stoked. Now, I'll be able to get ALL of them! And, you will too. Now, we just have to convince the band to play more shows. We all need this. We need the standard setter for local bands back in action. Central Florida needs it. If the band can win enough new fans, we would have packed local shows again. 

We NEED this!
Almost as much as we need Ozzy!

So, at this point, all we can do is hope. We'll probably get a new album, and the remastered catalog. But, in the meantime, here is the original version of the Dead Serios classic, Ranks of the Unemployed. Enjoy!

Yes, I'm a giddy little fangirl over the POSSIBILITY of a Dead Serios reunion.

Change of Plans Brings 'Serios' Fun: My Story

Isn't it amazing how plans can change? Most of the time when they do, it isn't necessarily a good thing. But, every now and then, you will have carefully laid out plans that change at the last minute, and its not only a good thing...Its a completely awesome thing, That's what I will be talking about in this piece.

I am a Native Floridian, and I've seen and been friends with Dead Serios since the early 90's. I've literally seen them over 100 times, and every time been blown away by the great energy and stage show that the band puts on. It is truly a unique experience. We'll get to THIS experience shortly.

In the last piece I wrote, I talked about Melbourne Florida's legendary band, Dead Serios and their 30th anniversary concert at the renowned Maxwell King Center. We had the band on the Will and Thunder Show <ca-ching!> on Jan 20th to talk about the show, and to get everyone pumped up about it. It wasn't hard because the show had the feel of a news conference leading up to the Super Bowl. I also talked about the appearance that I was offered. The band offered me a chance to get up on stage and to introduce them, and plug The Will and Thunder Show <ca-ching!> as well. I was honored and totally pumped about the opportunity to be part of the show.

The enigmatic Dead Lee Serios
on stage at their 30th anniversary show

My family and I packed up, and drove 500 miles just to go see this concert. We arrived Thursday evening, on Jan 22. I showed up at what was the final rehearsal before the show. The band sounded great, and I was even more excited to see and be part of their show. (if that was even possible)  I went over my planned intro for the band with them, and everything was ready to go....Until the next day.

The phone call:

I was sitting in my hotel room. We had just gotten back from a day out with the family, and were getting ready to go out for dinner, when my cell phone rang. It was the enigmatic, one and only Dead Lee Serios on the other end, telling me that the person who had been scheduled to play the part of Oprah during their song, Who's on Oprah cancelled at the last minute. This was a bit where a black man dressed up in a very bad Oprah Winfrey costume and joined the band onstage. Dead Lee asked me if I would play the part. I reminded him of one potential flaw in the plan. I'm a tall white man! That fact did not escape Dead Lee. It was explained to me that the only thing funnier than a black man pretending to be Oprah was a white man pretending to be a black man pretending to be Oprah. Laughing my ass off, I agreed, and of course, I told him that I would do it. I was honored to, but there was a catch. The catch was that I would no longer be introducing the band. Dead Lee told me not to worry because I would still get the show plug.

Oprah LOVES Dead Serios

As I mentioned before, plans do change for the good occasionally. This show was a small version of an arena concert in every way. It was a huge production with a full cast of characters and a full backstage crew. Had I just introduced the band, I would have gone back to my seat and watch the show with the audience. Instead, I got to the venue early, got made up in my hideously ugly dress, with makeup, and a big afro wig. The plan was for my face makeup NOT to look like good black makeup, but to look like a very bad makeup job. And, it was probably the easiest makeup job that the professional makeup artist had ever done. It looked HIDEOUS! When I emerged from the dressing room, I was greeted by laughter, hugs, and high fives...and my huge double damn boobs were being fondled by everyone...And even motor boated.  The visionary, Dead Lee Serios was right again. It was a hit.

Yes, that is me in my Oprah costume

Ok, here we go...Hold your ears folks! Its SHOWTIME!!!

The whole backstage experience was incredible. I've played many shows of my own, even toured briefly as a tour manager, but I never experienced anything like this in the past. Spirits were high, and everyone was having a great time. When crunch time came, and 5 minutes to showtime was announced, the band took their places side stage. There was anAC/DC song that was playing over the PA, signaling that the band was moments away from taking the stage. We were all together side stage, and you could feel the intensity. You could see the lights over the top of the wall side stage. You could hear the crowd getting louder every time guitarist, Steve Pooley hit a chord on his guitar to make sure he was in tune. Finally, the show started, and Dead Serios was welcomed to the stage by a roar of enthusiastic fans who had been waiting 20 years for a show like this.

Joe Delcorvo and Michelle Jones of  Violectric

The band put on the best show that I've ever seen from them, and that is saying a lot. The cast members all did their parts flawlessly. I was the first character to come out. Who's on Oprah was the second song in the set list. Dead Lee introduced me, and I was welcomed to the stage with a loud mixture of applause and laughter. Drummer, Scooter Greenbud had 2 bass heads on his drum set with Oprah's face on them, I went out, and gently kissed my finger, and touched it to the drum head. Then, I addressed the crowd quickly, head banged a little bit, then threw out the two Will and Thunder Show shirts that I had with me into the crowd, then I made my exit. I watched the rest of the show with the other cast members on the side of the stage.

Dead Lee and Scooter Greenbud

We're Not Joking!

The show went perfectly, and everyone from fans who had just seen them for the first time (there were a few) to life long fans to band members to cast and production crew were all smiles. At the end, during the finale,  Dead Lee individually introduced each cast member, and the production crew on stage. He said that we were all part of the Dead Serios family, and everyone on stage thundered the final words after the cue from Dead Lee. He started off "WE'RE NOT JOKING!!!" and everyone onstage, in the audience, and probably in the main hall for the other performance booked at the King Center that night all yelled in unison "WE'RE DEAD SERIOS!!!

The whole crew up on stage during the finale. Most epic night I've had in years. Maybe decades.

So, you see? Sometimes plans change for the better. I started off planning on doing a simple introduction and returning to my seat which would have been very cool. But instead, I got to be part of the most triumphant moment of the legendary Dead Serios's storied existence. And, the rest of the country knew about this as well. I drove 500 miles from North Carolina. Several people came from Ohio, and Tennessee. Another cast member, Jesse Long flew in from Boulder Colorado to participate. It was a night that I will never forget, and a night that everyone else in attendance will never forget...People who weren't there will never forget it either. As words of this incredible concert spreads, people who didn't go are flagellating themselves for missing it, and begging Dead Serios to do another production like this. And, they will get a chance...

Jesse Long as Buster

Steve Pooley

Dead Serios are:
Dead Lee Serios on vocals, Steve Pooley on guitar, Joe Delcorvo on bass, and Scooter Greenbud on drums.

Happy birthday, Sheckey!

The band's long time manager since 1987, Sheckey Finklestein was also there to celebrate his 95th birthday. He was accompanied by his fiancee, Goldie played by Gina DeSimone.

Juicy Lucy!

Cast of the show were: 
Will Telltale (Bill Selby aka ME) as Oprah, on Who's on Oprah
Ty Oglesby, guest on Skid Marks in my Shorts
Michelle Jones, of Violectric Electric Violin on Dysfunctional Family
Jesse Long as Buster on Buster's Got A Booger
Ms Brenda, singer of Space Coast Rock Band, Medusa, Guest vocals on No More Pipe for Potato Head
Nick Hildyard of Classic Albums Live, guest vocals on I Wanna Force Feed William Cruse
Leia Dunn as Juicy Lucy on Pizza Face
Stewart Coleman, classic member of Dead Serios, guest guitarist on Harbor City

Production and stage crew were:

Production Manager: Yvette LoPrete

Makeup Artist: Vera Sandes

Head of Security: Kirk Sandes

Stage Manager: Damion Johnson

Stage Techs: Gary Thompson and Juliana Johnson

Stage Assistant: Drew Sandes

Nick Hildyard and Dead Lee

The rest of the set list was: Lawn Care Studs, Designated Driver, Real Friends, Psycho Dyke, She Wants It All, Butterbean Queen, and Blister in the Sun.

Three 'SERIOS' Decades

In 1985, Dead Lee Serios had a vision. It was a vision of an incredibly unique and dominant rock band. A blend of punk and metal, mixed with comedy. It was a vision that would establish Dead Serios as the premiere act in Central Florida. It became a reality, and they touched so many lives that the band's loyal fan base demanded more and more.

And the band delivered time and time again, and CONTINUES TO DELIVER after 30 years.

Dead Lee and a sacrificial
lawnmower

Dead Serios rose to prominence and achieved hero status in the late 80's to the mid 90's. They captivated audiences with funny and powerful songs, combined with a commanding stage show, led by Dead Lee Serios himself. It was not uncommon to see Mr Potato Head blasting pyrotechnics from his pipe, or Dead Lee leading a mosh pit with a Fisher Price lawnmower, then smashing it Pete Townsend style. You never knew what the band had in store for you, but you did know that you were going to get a show that you would never forget. Every time.

Bassist, Joe Delcorvo

It was also not uncommon to see the band sharing the stage with national bands such as GWAR, Saigon Kick, Hootie and the Blowfish, Marilyn Manson, Nuclear Assault, Faith No More, and many more. The band was loved so much that occasionally, the national act would actually get booed off the stage in favor of what they thought was just a local band eager to open for them. They left Central Florida humbled, and in a pretty bad mood. The band owned Central Florida, and it didn't take long before they gained national attention. Sadly, grunge happened, and Dead Serios went on hiatus. But, that would not last for long.

Drummer, Scooter Greenbud

The band would do an occasional reunion gig. That was enough to keep their long time fans clamoring for more, as well as to welcome new fans into the fold. But, in 2006, they played what was presumably the last show. In 2013, a local record label approached the band to produce a Dead Serios tribute album, which was recorded, but the band hadn't really considered reuniting....until bassist, Joe Delcorvo appeared on The Will and Thunder Show. <caching!>  We started talking about a reunion show with him, and that lit a spark in Joe. He then approached the other band members, and a reunion was planned. Next thing they knew, a promoter for the 80's in the Park festival contacted the band, asking them to open the whole thing. The band approved, and it was a huge success.

Guitarist, Steve Pooley

Now, on January 24, 2015, Dead Serios is playing a 30th Anniversary show at Melbourne FL's King Center. (Buy Tickets) Its a small and intimate setting that will showcase what will be the best stage show that the band has put on to date. It will feature props, and guest appearances, including one from yours truly. Yep. I get to introduce the band. I'm honored and very excited for the opportunity to be part of this historic show.

But, before the show, Dead Serios will be joining us January 20th on The Will and Thunder Show. They will be discussing everything from the history of the band to this upcoming concert. Band members, Dead Lee Serios, Steve Pooley, and Joe Delcorvo will be our guests. Thunder and I will also be talking about our own personal most memorable Dead Serios moments. So, check it out!

Dead Serios is a band that only comes around once in a lifetime. They have touched so many lives, and have entertained many more. Although there have been many different members in the lineup, every lineup delivered the same great experience. I count myself lucky to have been able to see them so many times, and to know the guys personally. Living in North Carolina currently, (I plan on moving back home soon) I hear people talk about local bands. And, while some are good, I pity the people here because they never got a chance to witness one of the greatest bands to ever kick ass on a stage. I'm not joking. They're Dead Serios!

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'Shout It Out Loud!' by Christopher Long: A Deafening Book Review

The most interesting man in the world isn't that green bottled beer guy with the beard. Just remember that, and you'll be much better off. No, the most interesting man in the world is none other than Christopher Long, a "washed up rocker dude" from Satellite Beach, FL. What makes him so interesting? Especially because there are so many washed up rockers in the world? (Yours truly included) Its simple. The man has done it all. He may not have done it on the largest stages, but he has been on more types of stages than most...and I'm speaking both metaphorically and literally.

Christopher Long: Fighting The Lord's Battle Plan

In Christopher's second book, C'MON!: My Story of Rock, Ruin, and Revelation, he tells us his life story. I recommend that you get both C'MON! and Shout It Out Loud if you've not read the former. Shout It Out Loud is the Sequel to C'MON!. Its possible to see The Empire Strikes Back without seeing Star Wars, but it will make much more sense if you see Star Wars first. The same applies for these two books, although, there are no earth shattering revelations about Chris's father.

Both books are autobiographical accounts of his life, but the first tells of his time in Rock And Roll bands, both as a performer, fan, and as a road manager. It then gets into how his life changed, and how he became a 'Soldier Under God's Command.' Its a very compelling read, and you will come away from it amazed, when you realize that if Christopher Long can do a 180 degree turn around, despite how driven and dedicated he was to becoming a rock star, anybody can. Although he never achieved stardom, he came very close, and his story is every bit as intense as any rock star's story..Not to mention, its a much more uplifting read.

A photo from a touching story
about Chris's missionary work

The second book, his CURRENT book Shout It Out Loud tells about how his life has changed, and what he has been doing since finding God. If I told you that a man who was onstage singing about a butch lesbian police officer while drinking like a fish would later in life be going on missionary trips to Nicaragua, and ministering to and praying with the impoverished citizens of that third world country, would you believe me?  You should. Its true. He has been to Nicaragua twice now, and has some extremely touching stories about the trips he took. Personally, I think he could write a book strictly about his missionary work, and it would be extremely interesting.

Chris Long: Youth Leader at a retreat, with The Jokers!
(Read the book!)

After his turnaround, Chris was hungry for Christ. He wanted not just to go to church every Sunday. He wanted to be part of something that was bigger than himself, and like I said, he is a very intense person, and when he puts his energy into something, he gives 150%. So, he started off at his church with some very 'humble' jobs." Welcome to the church! Here's a mop!" Chris was glad to oblige. He quickly gained the respect and friendship of the church elders, and he was rewarded with a small position which he excelled in. (I'm sure he did a pretty good job with the floors too.) It wasn't too much longer before he was going on youth group camps, and being invited to go on missionary trips. No more mops, although he would be more than happy to grab one again if it needed to be done. Chris is a madman with a mop!

Chris, with Worship Pastor at his
Church, Chris Johnson. 

That is the basis of the book. The deeper you get into it, you realize just how humble he has become as a result of his relationship with God. And, 'Relationship' is a recurring theme. Its not the religion that God wants. Its the relationship. Religion turns people away, and judges people constantly....which we are told in the bible that might not be the best thing for people to do. Chris is very proud of his relationship with God. He values it more than anything, and it shows in the pages of Shout It Out Loud. He is one of those people who has a captivating personality, and his speaking voice adds intensity to any of his stories. He could tell you the process for making fruit salad, and you'd swear it was the most interesting thing you've heard all month. This intensity is on every page of his book, and his life story is one of the most interesting things I've heard in a long time. It will be for you too.

Now, I get busted for possession? NOW???

So, pick up this book. Shout It Out Loud is a very interesting read, and I'd bet its the most uplifting thing you've read in ages. It has it all. Whether Chris is talking about getting busted at customs for trying to smuggle vitamins into Nicaragua, talking about the kids he works with at the church, or about how God has changed his life from something scary into what it is now, you will feel good reading it. I've known Chris for a very long time, and one thing that hasn't changed about him from then to now is the fact that he will not do anything that he doesn't believe in, and what he does believe in, he gives everything he has. Now, he believes in building his relationship with God, and telling as many people as he can about it. And, he does....Loudly!

East Coast Christian Center, Merritt Island, FL
Looks MUCH different than it did the last time I saw it!

Also, I have to say that reading this book really does make me want to move back to Florida, and join East Coast Christian Center, and grab a mop. Everything he says here is a take on church that you won't hear in most churches, and its really a shame. They all should be shouting the word out loud. This will make people want to come to Christ much more than a man in a suit standing up, and lecturing people about what they are allowed and not allowed to do.

But, don't take my word for it. Take Chris's word for it. Listen to him on the Will and Thunder Show <Caching!> May 13 at 10PM Eastern! Don't miss it! Also, connect with Chris on the links below:

Christopher Long's blog
Facebook Page
Twitter

Purchase C'MON!: My Story of Rock, Ruin, and Revelation
Purchase Shout It Out Loud!

New Years Eve is Amateur Hour.

Happy New Year!

Every year, people go out to New Years Eve parties at bars, homes, etc. And every year, lots of people get to start the new year in a jail cell for DUI, or worse...They get into wrecks and die, or kill someone else.

There is a reason why New Years Eve is worse than other holidays like Halloween, or even Super Bowl Sunday. Its because New Years Eve is amateur hour. Many people who do not drink, or don't drink excessively go out on New Years Eve, and drink excessively because New Years Eve is even more of a drinking holiday than St Patricks Day, or Super Bowl Sunday. Drinking is the point of this holiday. So, all these non drinkers or mild drinkers go out and get schnockered, and they assume they can drive. It isn't the alcoholics who are the extremely dangerous people behind the wheel. It isn't right, and I'm not condoning it, but the alcoholics and heavy regular drinkers who do drink and drive probably do it all the time. They don't get caught because A) they can handle their alcohol and B) They are good at it. But when you get these people who don't drink regularly behind the wheel, and its the chase scene from The Blues Brothers.

Am I driving ok?

A good friend of mine, Christopher Long was in a band called 'Dead Serios' back in the day. They had a song that I remember well called 'Designated Driver.' Some of the lyrics are:

Boozing! Cruising! Racing through the parking lot!
Belly up to the bar, a nice cold beer would hit the spot.
I can see you getting loaded. Hope you don't plan to drive.
I'm like you, I'm out there too, and I want to make it home alive
If you've had a few too many and you're blowing .15
I'll be the designated driver!
My car ain't too pretty but you'll make it home alive
I'll be the designated driver
Don't be the proud guy, try thinking of the other guy
If you ever lost someone you love,
You wouldn't be asking why.
How many more lives we gonna lose?
Its up to me, its up to you,
Its a point we're gonna prove!

It is pointless and dumb to drink and drive, and on New Years Eve, it isn't even necessary. You can get home safe even if you spent all your money. AAA is offering FREE TOWING to anyone, whether you're a AAA member or not. So, unless you're just incredibly freaking stupid, there's no excuse for drinking and driving on New Years Eve, and if you do, and get a DUI or worse, then you are an idiot, who deserves everything that happens to you.

Write that number down!

But, unfortunately, there are alot of idiots out there. There will be DUIs and deaths tonight.

Still, even WITH a designated driver, or a free tow from AAA, you are not safe. Even a sober person can't control the driving of a drunk idiot amateur who decided to drive. Sadly, its usually not the drunk driver who gets killed or seriously injured. Its usually the person they hit who gets that honor.

Also, there are check points everywhere. Don't think that you will turn around if you see one. You do that, and you'll find out just how fast a cop can get into a car and right on you. What do you think those police cars parked on the side of the road are for?

Like I said, its pretty dumb to drink and drive, with the free rides and tows being offered by AAA. But if you are still determined to prove your manliness by drinking and driving, there is something else you can get for free. I'm not talking about the free bed and food in jail either. Anyone who has had a DUI will tell you that there's nothing free about that. No, I'm talking about a free coffin! In 2009, a funeral parlor in Georgia offered a free funeral to anyone who would come in, and sign a form stating that they planned to drink and drive on New Years Eve if they died that night. 

Free to a dead drunk!

 That was 2009, but I'm sure they would honor it if you called and asked. I think the victim should be the one who gets a free funeral though. Funerals can cost as much as a DUI, so how fair is it that the family of an innocent sober person who gets killed by a drunk driver not only loses a loved one, but gets stuck with a bill for thousands of dollars because of a drunk idiot?

That is precisely why I stay in on New Years Eve. I haven't been out on New Years Eve since 2004, with the exception of 2007. I lived close enough to a bar that I could walk there and back. So, stay in on New Years Eve. There is no reason to endanger yourself. No reason to endanger others, and no reason to risk starting the new year in the hospital, jail, or morgue. Leave Amateur Hour to the idiots.

And to conclude my little PSA, just remember one thing, whether you go out, stay in, or whatever you do...Use a condom. There is a reason why there are so many Virgos born each year. What's 9 months from Christmas and New Year? Late August and early September. People get hammered and get knocked up. The result? VIRGOS! Not that Virgos are a bad thing. We are awesome! The world could use more of us! But an unexpected pregnancy will make the cost of a DUI look like the cost of a beer at the bar over the course of the kid's life.

So, enough of my yacking. Have a happy and safe New Years, and I hope the next year will be good for you.    

         

Riding to Thunder Bay With Mr. Potato Head

This is a trip down memory lane for me. When I was in my late teens to early 20's, I lived in Merritt Island, FL. (Its near Cocoa Beach) There was an amazing local music scene all over Central Florida from Cocoa Beach to Orlando to the speed metal scene in Tampa. This was a great time to be alive.

There were many bands that I loved seeing, from AWOL to Modern Man to Hard Knox. Most of the bands also got to open for touring national acts because of the huge crowds that the local bands drew on their own. On occasion, the national act would get booed off the stage in favor of the local opening act. I was in several bands back in the day, and I even got to open for several national acts.

However, there were 2 bands who set the standard of what was expected from a local act, and all other bands aspired to achieve their success on a local level on the way to getting signed themselves. They were Dead Serios of Melbourne FL and Stranger of Tampa.

It didn't matter where these bands played, or who they played with. The place was always packed with enthusiastic fans. Personally, I saw Dead Serios over 50 times, and Stranger at least 15 times. Seeing them never got old because it was always a blast, and every time you saw them seemed like the first time. Their shows were the biggest party in town. These bands were experts at ruling a crowd and the music was always great too. I don't remember seeing a bad performance from either of them.

We'll start with Dead Serios because I was and still am friends with the guys. The band was a punk metal comedy act. The band consisted of Dead Lee Serios (Christopher Long) on lead vocals and lawnmower, Doug Gibson on lead guiar, Phil Billingsley on rhythm guitar, Joe Del Corvo on bass, and Bill Irwin on drums and vocals.

Doug Gibson

You never saw a better show than this. High intensity rock, with the greatest frontman ever to walk the earth. Songs like 'No More Pipe For Potato Head' featured a 3 foot tall Mr. Potato Head that shot pyrotechnics out of the pipe. The band always delivered, and they always seemed at the top of their game. There was a time when it seemed like a given that this band would be signed, and huge. I don't know a single person who ever saw them in concert and didn't love them for life. Unfortunately, the record deal never came, but grunge did, and that's when all the good music went by the wayside. But the good news is that the band does reunion shows from time to time! The live links I posted are from a reunion show a couple years ago. 'Lawn Care Studs' that featured Dead Lee leading a mosh pit circle swinging a toy lawnmower, then smashing it onstage like Pete Townsend with a Fender Telecaster. I remember one show where one of the fans snuck out the back door during that song, grabbed the club's REAL lawnmower, fired it up, and got in line before Dead Lee with the real mower going full blast. Fun times indeed. Their set lists would always consist of crowd favorites like these, and other songs like 'Rosemary's Baby was Framed, Who's on Oprah, Psycho Dyke, Buster's Got A Booger, Butterbean Queen, and Peanuts are Evil. The ending of their shows was every bit as electric as the show itself, and lasted as long as a song. They would introduce the band, along with sound words of wisdom like "Brush after every meal! Smell the cheese before you eat it!" Dead Lee would then call for quiet, and tell the crowd that no matter where they went on the highways and biways of life, they should always remember....."MOTORHEAD RULES!" They would then finish off with their trademarked staple close "And Remember....WE'RE NOT JOKING!! WE'RE! DEAD! SERIOS!"

Dead Lee Serios and a
sacrificial lawnmower

Next up is Stranger! Pure bred "Florida Rock N Roll!" This band had the unmistakable vocals of Greg Billings, and the unique and powerful guitar sound of Ronnie Garvin, joined with a thunderous rhythm section consisting of Tom (King) Cardenas on bass and John Price on drums. Randy Holt was on keyboards.

The energy of a Stranger show was unmatched. You just wanted to grab a beer, raise it (when you weren't chugging it) and sing along with their unforgettable chouses in songs like Okeechobee Whiskey, Play Something Good (Something I can Dance To), and probably their most recognized chorus, 3D. And, their amazing guitar grooves in songs like Swamp Woman, Hit N Run, and the heartfelt ballads they offered like Clear Blue Morning, and many more.

When you left a Stranger show, you felt good. Seeing them was like a being at a football game where your team is just taking apart their opponent. It makes you feel like you're on top of the world. They would always interact with the audience, encouraging crowd participation, and the fans were more than happy to give it. And, like Dead Serios, it was not possible to see a Stranger show for the first time, and not leave a fan. They would open with the anthem, Bad Day, which instantly got you in the mood to forget about your day, and get the night started. Their shows were always 'a night to remember, after a 'day to forget.' From the first song on, you belonged to the band. All the way to their grand finale, Thunder Bay.

Ronnie Garvin

At a Stranger show, you couldn't help but notice Ronnie Garvin's old, beat up and ugly Fender Strat. It looked like it was held together with duct tape. So ugly, yet at the same time, the most beautiful guitar on the planet. He also had a unique style and sound like I mentioned before. Nobody could play like him, and nobody could play like Stranger.

The end of the road for them came on October 10, 1996 when the news came out that guitarist, Ronnie Garvin had been found dead of a self inflicted gunshot wound. This tragic event came to be known as 'The shot that broke Florida's heart.' That was it. It was over. And, many Floridians can tell you exactly what they were doing when they heard the news. Me, I was on the way to the hospital in Melbourne to deliver my oldest daughter, and heard the news on the radio. That's how I am able to remember the exact date.

Greg Billings has a band that plays in the Tampa area called The Greg Billings Band, along with bassist Tom Cardenas. They play regularly across West Florida, and their set list includes Stranger songs.

These two bands were polar opposites in their styles, sound, and stage shows, and I don't remember them ever playing together. If they had, it would have been one of the most amazing shows of all time. Both bands dominated Florida during the same time, and they both loved to play, and loved their fans. Both bands put 120% into every show they played, and as a result, they were both adored by the fans.

But this isn't just one blogger's opinion. The proof is in the print. Jam Magazine, which was/is? a publication that everyone back then read. They had the 'Jammy Awards' where bands and musicians were nominated by the fans, and awards were handed out to the best. In 1991, Stranger won their highest honor as Entertainer of the Year. In 1992, Dead Serios won it, and Stranger presented the award to Dead Serios. I couldn't find a photo of that. If you have it, send it to me on my Facebook page, and I will add it to this post.

So, if you were fortunate enough to see these bands live, post some of your memories in the comments or on my FB page. Haven't heard of them? Click the links throughout this post and enjoy. I haven't seen a local music scene as good as Central Florida's in the late 80's to early 90's since, and I doubt I ever will.

You want to see another local music scene like that? Support Local Music! We didn't know how good we had it back then.