Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts

Monday, April 21, 2014

I Have an AXE to Grind With Guitar Hero



I have always had a problem with Guitar Hero. So many things these days are taking the imagination away from kids, and Guitar Hero is one of them. How so? Well, I'll tell you. Two words. AIR GUITAR! That's right. When I was a kid, before I started playing guitar, my friends and I would jam out to music, and pretend that we had instruments. We were badass, and we all knew it. And, I bet that we had more fun than these kids today who play Guitar Hero or Rock Band because we didn't have some lame game telling us that we screwed up on a fake guitar that in no way, shape or form even resembles a real guitar. Guitars have strings and frets, and are made of wood. Guitar hero controllers (I refuse to call them guitars) are TOYS and nothing more. 



You might think that my hatred of Guitar Hero is irrational, and it very well may be. But, I have a reason, and its a good one. People who hate clowns usually hate them because of one particular experience. Well, I do hate clowns, and it is due to one particular experience, but I also hate Guitar Hero because of one particular experience...And NO, I didn't get embarrassed by someone who was better at it than I am. Actually, ANYBODY would be better than me at Guitar Hero because I've never played. Also, musicians who have tried it have said that its hard to do because it bears ZERO resemblance to actually playing a real guitar. Anyway, back to my hatred of Guitar Hero...I used to be a carpet cleaner. One day, I had a job to do, and it was raining. Pouring. Noah was pairing up animals. I got to this house, and of course, it had no overhang over the porch, so I was going to get soaked. I ran up to the door, and knocked. There was a window in the door, and I could see inside. There were 2 teenagers standing in front of the TV, playing Guitar Hero, and they ignored me. I knocked louder, and they still ignored me. I beat on the door, and they still ignored me. I was completely drenched, and finally, they put their toys down and answered the door. One kid said "Sorry, dude, but we had a wicked streak going." I have hated Guitar Hero ever since.  

Call me when you get the real thing, ok loser?
Before that, I still wasn't a fan. I still thought it was just toys, and thought that it was stupid, but I didn't have this deep rooted psychotic hatred for it like I do now. Lets look at it, shall we? It has nothing to do with playing an actual guitar. It has 5 colored buttons that you click for various sounds. But, that's not the half of it. There are people out there who actually think that being good at Guitar Hero is some type of status symbol or something. They will tell you about their sessions like a musician telling you about an awesome gig he played, and what's worse, they will even try to talk to you like they KNOW how to play guitar! I was talking to this guy, who was telling me about all the guitars he had. It actually took me a few minutes to realize that he was talking about Guitar Hero toys. Is my daughter a doctor because she has a toy stethoscope? NO! And these Guitar Hero players are not guitarists either. 



Did you ever see the South Park episode about Guitar Hero? It was brilliant. Long story short, the kids got into it, but when Stan's dad tried to get them interested in the real thing, the kids thought he was lame. Later, the kids scored a million points, and "unlocked super stardom." Once that happened, a guy popped on screen, and said "Congratulations on reaching a million! Now, here is your super stardom....YOU'RE FAGS!!!" They hit the nail on the head as they usually do.

Derp! Derp! Derpa Derp!
Aside from the obvious reasons I hate Guitar Hero (its a stupid toy that has actually nothing to do with playing a real guitar, its taking imagination away from kids, and making them appreciate real musicianship even less) Another reason is that people just look freaking stupid when they play it. They just stand there, looking dumb, with a blank expression on their faces. What's even worse is when you go to a store that has a display set up. There will be a line of teens and even young adults waiting to play it, watching and cheering like the people who are playing currently are actually shredding on a guitar.

One picture shows a real badass musician. The other shows 2 grown men with toys.

Look, if these people want to spend their time playing with toys, that's fine. But, I guarantee you  that a Guitar Hero master will NEVER know what it feels like to wail on a guitar solo in front of a huge group of people. It is one of the most unique feelings that there is, and more power to them if they never want to experience it. You could say that its just like any other video game, but its not. If these Guitar Hero 'Masters' put the time they play with their toys into learning to play a real guitar, they would be VERY good guitarists, and they might actually get to experience playing in front of crowds. But, they won't. They will just look at you with the same blank stare, and tell you that you're crazy for bringing it up.


Now, as I wrap this up, I do have to say that there is a positive from Guitar Hero. One single little positive. It is exposing kids to the great music of the past that they otherwise might not have heard. I also don't blame bands like Aerosmith, The Beatles, Megadeth, Metallica, and others who have had editions come out featuring their music. Its another revenue stream for them, and it also, like I said, exposes kids to music they might have never heard. Other than that, Guitar Hero is garbage. 


"My grandkids always beat me at Rock Band. And I say, Listen, you may beat me at Rock Band, but I made the original records, so shut up."
-Paul McCartney 

Monday, September 30, 2013

Listen to the Will and Thunder Show!

Tuesday nights* from 10PM to Midnight Eastern time. 

Click here to go to the official website of the Will and Thunder Show

We have weekly guests mostly from the music world! Check out the William Telltale Facebook Page for the show schedules.

About the show:

We are a newer show, that centers around giving bands exposure, whether they are unsigned or signed. But, we are not the typical 'phone in' interview with the same old boring list of prewritten questions. There is a need for that, but there is also a need for something different and fun. The Will and Thunder Show is unscripted and more like sitting at a bar and talking about the band with your buddies. Will and Thunder are both veterans of music scenes, with years experience in Florida, the Carolinas, and Tennessee. We both love rock and metal, and want to see the music scene go back to what it was across the country in the 80's and early 90's, where it was not uncommon to see the local opening act for a national band blow the national band off the stage because of such a diehard following for the local talent. So, while we are a talk show, we want it to be entertaining for our guests, listeners, and of course, us. Our goal is to become a national talk show that focuses primarily on the unsigned and newly signed bands. The majority of people we have had on say that they had a blast, and would love to come back. Several have made second appearances.  

The show starts at 10PM Eastern on Tuesday nights, and runs till midnight. The first half hour is called the 'Shenanigans Segment' where we open the show, and talk a little bit about the news, or whatever. Around 10:25, our guest usually calls in, and at 10:30, we will take a break, and play the first song that the guest sent. After the song, we bring the guest in. The next song gets played 30-45 minutes later, and the last song gets played towards the end or at the end of the show. HOWEVER, it is completely up to the guest how long they would like to be on. All we ask is that the guests let us know how long they plan on being on before the show so we know how to plan it.


CLICK HERE TO LISTEN or

Call the show at (646) 716-6135. Click the link to listen and chat, or call in. If you just want to listen, simply call, and don't press 1, and you will be able to listen without going into call cue.

You can listen on the phone, and if you want to talk, just press 1. However, it sounds better listening from the computer.

To call in, or to listen on the phone, dial (646) 716-6135. Press 1 to talk to us, or to listen, don't press anything.

The show archive can also be found here: YOUTUBE  There, you'll find shows as well as other vids done by me.

Scheduled guests: The call in number is 646-716-6135. Press one to join the cue. I will make a Facebook event page for the show like this one.  We use that to advertise the show, and you can too. You will have access to that and the show link after the show is over. You can use it for whatever you might need it for in the future. Basically, it doesn't go away after the show is over.


If you are in an unsigned band, and would like your music to be reviewed by William Telltale, and/or you would like to be a guest on the Will and Thunder Show,  Email a brief press kit containing 2 or 3 MP3s and a bio to willtelltale@gmail.com Please say if you want to be on the show, reviewed, or both.


Follow us on Twitter.  @williamtelltale



For info on advertising on the blog or show, email willtelltale@gmail.com