Song Lyric Dissection: Nirvana, Smells Like Teen Spirit

 

Ok, the grunge anthem. The song that killed metal. The song that had the Generation Y crowd learning to play guitar, strumming 3 chords, and thinking they were guitar gods. You know, I was in a music store in the 90's trying out an effects rack that I was considering buying. There was this kid who came up and asked if he could try out a guitar...it was one of those weird looking grunge special guitars. The guy at the music store plugged it up for him. He starts playing Smells Like Teen Spirit...badly if that is possible. I couldn't hear what I was doing, so I turned the amp that I was playing through up. Gen Y guy took that as a challenge. He turned his up again and does a very bad version of the guitar solo in that song, looks at me and nods his head, like he was something special. I looked at the salesman, winked, turned the amp up even louder, and proceeded to shred. I jammed. I played an un accompanied guitar solo worthy of an arena, and just shredded for about 30 seconds. The kid looked at me in astonishment, and said "Dude, you wanna be in my band?" (imagine a pimply faced teenager saying that with the typical teen nasal sneer with a puberty break thrown in) I said "No, but I would like to hear what I'm doing because I'm thinking about buying this effects rack. Think you could help me out with that?" The kid put his guitar back on the wall, and went back outside, grabbed his bike and pedaled away.

Now, on to the dissection. I think I'll use a rusty scalpel on this song.

Verse: Load up on guns
Bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend 

Sounds like an angry right wing militia as described by CNN. However, this is Nirvana, who is completely against the establishment, so that can't be it. The last line I think sums up what would be 'nirvana' for Kobain and company. They wanted to be unsuccessful losers, and they pretended to play guitar.


Verse: She's overborne and self-assured
Oh no, I know a dirty word

Smells like a certain California politician if you ask me...and I do know a few dirty words that would describe that woman. But, if Nirvana was so against normalcy, why not just SAY the dirty word. 

What a dirty filthy...word!

Chorus-
Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low? -Hi...I can hear you.
Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low? -Yes..I...I can hear you, Kurt! 
Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low? -Kur- Hey! I can hear you!
Hello, hello, hello ,hello Maybe you should get a new cell phone. I can hear you just fine. 

Chorus: With the Lights out it's less dangerous
Here we are now entertain us

How so? With the blast shield down, I can't see. How am I supposed to rock? Ok...Sorry for the Star Wars reference, but it fit. I'm not above the movie references. But, how can it be less dangerous with the lights out? I mean you could fall off the stage and break your neck!

Chorus: I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now entertain us
A mulatto an albino
A mosquito my libido
yay

Stupidity is contagious. Just ask the Gen-Y crowd anything about American history. Not sure where you were going with the mulatto to albino line. They are not opposites...unless you were trying to rhyme. That's ok. Not like this song made any sense anyway. And why would you compare your libido to a mosquito? That's not the image I want to portray about my sexual prowess. 

I'm .00003 inches, and will rock you for
the best half second of your damn life!

Verse 2-
I'm worse at what I do best...
And for this gift I feel blessed.

It shows in your guitar playing. You say you feel blessed now, but once you made it big, you started whining like a little bitch. No one felt sorry for you anymore. So you married Courtenay Love. I felt sorry for you then...in fact if I married her, I'd probably take a similar approach to getting out of the marriage as you did.

Verse: Our little group has always been
And always will until the end

Been what? Blessed? If that's the case, your drummer got the best end of that deal. He's now in a VERY good band, and showed that there was actually one talented member of Nirvana.

Chorus-
Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, hello

Dude, get a new cell phone already! Or call me from a land line...or borrow the drummer's cell! Stop wasting MY minutes because your phone sucks!

Chorus: With the Lights out it's less dangerous
Here we are now entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now entertain us
A mulatto an albino
A mosquito my libido
yay
Bridge-

Verse 3-
And I forget just why I taste
Oh yeah I guess it makes me smile

All these things combine to give you
the ability to taste.

Taste what? Or are you asking why people taste? Well, its because of those little taste buds on the tongue. Its so that you can differentiate what you are eating from one thing to another. And what exactly makes you smile? The fact that you can own apartment buildings, shopping centers, condooo-miniums...and you only know 3 chords??

Verse: I found it hard it's hard to find
Oh well whatever nevermind

What is hard to find? Oh well I'm not going to finish this dissection. Whatever, nevermind. If you don't care, neither do I.

Chorus-
Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, hello
With the Lights out it's less dangerous
Here we are now entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now entertain us
A mullato an albino
A mosquito my libido
A denial
A denial
A denial
Yeah...You're in denial. You think you have a good cell phone, and that its everyone else's phone that
sucks.


You know, this is the first time I actually read the lyrics to this song. Weird Al was right to do his parody of it. We all know, its hard to zwarg bargle zous with all these marbles in my mouth!

HELLO?????

What Do I Think About grunge?

From time to time, when I mention the fact that I don't like grunge, whether in this blog, on Twitter, or the Will and Thunder Show, <ca-ching!> someone will message me and try to point out the error of my ways. They try to rewrite history, and tell me that these grunge bands were actually something decent to listen to. And, my favorite thing they say is "You say you like Alice in Chains! They are a grunge band!"

Read on, folks. By the time I'm done with this, you will know my exact feelings on grunge, what fueled it, and why I hate it now more than I did in the 90's. And, grab a drink. This is a long one.

First of all, let's get this out in the open. Alice in Chains is NOT a grunge band. They aren't now, and they never were. Alice in Chains is and always was a METAL band. Some of the plaid shirt wearing crowd may not realize this but Alice in Chains was selected to open the Clash of the Titans Tour, which featured Megadeth, Anthrax, and Slayer. It was that tour that put AIC on the map. Can you plaid people honestly tell me that you think that Nirvana or Pearl Jam would have been a good fit to open that tour? Not to mention the fact that the tour started a few months BEFORE Nirvana first premiered on MTV. And, please stop telling me that AIC came from Seattle, therefore they are grunge. Just because a band comes from Seattle doesn't mean that they are a grunge band by default. Jimi Hendrix came from Seattle. Heart came from Seattle. Queensryche came from Seattle. Are they grunge?

Next, I always get asked about Soundgarden. People ask me why I don't like them. They try to tell me that they are a metal band just like AIC. Not true. They are a grunge band, just a little bit heavier than most. And, I know that Soundgarden was out long before grunge. They were considered 'alternative metal.' Translated: GRUNGE! Now, as a friend pointed out to me, Soundgarden won the award for Best Grunge Band. They said that they saw themselves more as a metal band, but appreciated the award. What a pantload. The metal thing to do would be to say "Look, we aren't a f**king grunge band. Keep the damn award." But, they kept it. Then, if Soundgarden was NOT a grunge band, what happened with Temple of the Dog? That most certainly was a grunge band, and Chris Cornell formed it not only another member of Soundgarden, but also Eddie Vedder, another member of Pearl Jam and a member of Mother Love Bone. All grunge. They also did their fair share of whining about going mainstream. So, if it looks like a duck....

Chris Cornell did a long interview
whining because the Black Hole Sun
single was released too early.

Anyway,what also makes me laugh about this is I never said that grunge bands as a whole had no talent. But, people remind me that Soundgarden has talent. Are they admitting that most grunge bands had no talent?

On the talent issue, some of the grunge bands had good musicians. Like Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, etc . However, some most certainly did not. Like Nirvana. And before you go off half cocked defending Cobain, let me say this: Kurt Cobain may have been a good guitarist. Only those who knew him knew for sure because he sure as hell didn't show any talent in any of the songs Nirvana did. And, another argument is that Cobain was a great lyricist. Big deal. Rappers are very good lyricists. Nobody ever tries to call them great musicians. Edgar Allen Poe could have been considered a great lyricist. Nobody ever said he was a great musician. Quoth the Raven.

Speaking of talent, while some of the bands had it, the "musicians" that were influenced by the genre sure as hell did not. In every era of Rock and Metal, the goal of kids learning to play was to see how good of a guitarist, singer, bassist, or drummer they could be. However, when grunge became mainstream, all the kids thought that if they could play Smells Like Teen Spirit on guitar, they were great guitarists. And what the hell was up with those weird shaped guitars? Or, if they could use a low to mid range voice and whine through their noses, they were great singers. Suddenly, the only thing that was cool to write about was how depressed you were, or how your life sucked. It was not a good time.

Sebastian Bach, and Steve Vai suck! Now listen to us whine
through our noses, and our guitarist bang 4 chords on an
out of tune guitar, and watch us sway back and forth!

Grunge did not kill rock and metal, but it put it in critical condition. Every Rock/Metal genre prior to grunge paid homage to its predecessors with tributes, and all other types of respect. Grunge musicians had zero respect for their predecessors, and openly slammed them. They alienated themselves, and therefore, there are no respected grunge musicians of note today..Other than Dave Grohl, but he is an extremely talented musician, who pays homage and respect to all of the greats who came before him. The exception to the rule. So how did it hurt Rock and Metal? By telling a generation that you didn't need to be great in order to succeed. Look at what it spawned. A bunch of rap rock and simplistic music. 20 years of musicians who were considered great, yet couldn't hold a candle to an average 60's, 70's, and 80's musician. I remember being at a local show and after the band played, this guy begged to be let on stage to play a song. He had brought one of those goofy looking guitars with him, and he sat down and played Glycerine by Bush. He thought he had done something special too. Other bands like Green Day are considered to be great musicians too, when all they do is play 4 chords.

Nirvana and other grunge bands
whined about success. But, I never
saw them do a tour for free.
Hypocrites.

Simply put, I hate grunge. I despise it. I would rather listen to country than listen to those whining hypocrite douchebag garage bands who played shows to get noticed, then whined even more once they were noticed. So, why do I hate grunge? It sucked. By the definition of 'asshole' in Team America: World Police, grunge was/ is an ASSHOLE! But luckily, over the past 5-10 years, this new crop of bands is turning it around. Kids want to be good musicians again, and its showing. The 80's bands are having a major resurgence, and seeing lots of kids in their teens and twenties coming out to their concerts, and they are buying the albums. Grunge, nu metal, and the contemporary rock/pop that has plagued us for so long is a stain that is fading away. So, in the loud, awesome, and TRUE words of Steel Panther: